The Sub

August 4, 2008
By
The class filed into the class and we all looked over to our teacher’s desk and there she was. She sat behind the desk with one leg over the other and looked up from her compact mirror. She gave us a lipstick-toothed grin and got up. She struggled to walk to the front of the class in her red spike heals and almost tripped over in the middle of the isle. Once she safely made it to the board she turned around and said, “Hello class! Due to your English teacher’s absence, I will be your sub today” The sub had an annoying high pitch voice that sounded like nails scratching on a chalk board and she spoke promptly. She turned around to the white board picking up a magenta expo marker and wrote her name in cursive that no one could read. As she wrote she spoke again. “I am Mrs.Seablops”. Mrs.? I was surprised she was married. After writing her name, she turned around but almost tripped over her own feet. As she explained what we were going to do for the next hour and forty-five minutes, I notice a bag by her spray-on tanned feet. It was yellow tote bag with green handles, orange polka dots, and a neon green umbrella sticking out. I didn’t understand why she had an umbrella; it wasn’t rainy and it wasn’t that hot or sunny, plus the weatherman on TV said it was going to be nice weather all week. My eyes traveled up from her crazy bag and umbrella, to her tanned, wrinkled face. Now she was standing right in front of me, I got a good look of what her face looked like, and the whole time I was staring I tried not to laugh. She had pounds of metallic, creamy make-up obviously from the children’s section at the dollar store. She had interesting shades of blue and purple on her eyes, a dark red blush on her cheeks, and hot pink lipstick on her scrunched up lips (and teeth). She had unmistakably died beach blond frizzy hair that was pulled into a side ponytail with a sparkly red scrunchy. She also had thick-rimmed glasses on top of her head. My eyes went back down and saw she had a bedazzled jean jacket, a red and white striped t-shirt, pink capris that were pulled all the way up. I then looked at her finger, which had a humongous diamond that was set onto a golden band. After gawking at her expensive looking ring I went back to look at her heals. I looked to the guys who were sitting next to me and heard them whispering about the sub, they weren’t saying the nicest things, but as bad as I felt, I had to agree. What was wrong with her? Is she colored blind? Is she stuck in the 80s? Is she colored blind and stuck in the 80s? She was the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever seen. How could someone dress that bad and be so annoying at the same time?

Half an hour passes and we are working on a long writing assignment that Mrs.Limbo, my actual English teacher, asked the sub to give us. The room was silent and Mrs.Seablops was back behind the desk again reading a romance novel. I heard the sound of someone getting up from his or her chair and between the rows off desk. All of a sudden the sound of a book slamming on a desk could be heard through out the classroom. Some people jumped, and some girls squeaked in fear. Some that could not see behind them twisted their heads around to see our sub in front of one of the girl’s desks staring down at her like she was about to murder the poor girl. “See me after class.” She said slowly in her annoying high pitch voice. The girl couldn’t even move or say anything in response. I don’t think it was because she was frightened, but because she was to distracted by the teacher’s wardrobe, and fake eyelashes that were magnified by her glasses and were about to fall off her eyelids. The teacher kept on staring her down as if she expected an answer. Finally after thirty silent seconds, the girl nodded her head to confirm that she heard what she said. Mrs.Seablops shook her head and went back to her chair with her book and sat down. An hour and ten minutes later, the bell rang and everyone rushed home to tell their parents about the sub.





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