Who do you serve?

July 31, 2008
By Britnie Jordan, Conroe, TX

Upon a dreary day I sat alone in great thought
Wondering how it would be to have everything but not.
Heated by the warmth of the fire that held my gaze
I caught myself drifting deep into a daze.
Before my eyes had settled, a light beamed inside the room.
I shook with fear thinking the spirit would lead me to my doom!
Though its radiant smile soon brought joy upon my lowly face
Regaining my composure I slowly held my place.
“O Father, what brings you here to me” I cried upon my knees.
He smiled “I must know my child is it me you’re here to please?”
I hesitated at first in shock and disbelief.
How could he question me I thought as if I’m some lowly thief?
“My God, My Father, I know you are my One and only King...
And as for my heart I do not serve another thing.”
As I defended myself in anguish, he seemed quite patient to hear
Every point I stuttered trying to make my heart more clear.
He answered, “Yes it’s true there’s not a single THING keeping us apart
What I mean are the people you put first inside your heart.”
I squinted as I dared to glance at the radiant glow above
“O Father, I don’t understand, why do you question me and my love?
He returned my confusion with a smile which confused me more.
He motioned me to take his hand; He had no need to implore.
I reached out quickly for His hand that longed for me
But another beam of light made my eyes to weak to see.
No sooner than a blink my body felt cool air begin to blow.
I looked upon the ground which now felt like snow
My vision cleared and all I saw was perfect once again
Though I turned in fear not feeling the warmth and comfort of my den
Pearly white snow covered all from underneath
And I looked around and saw a house with but a single wreath
Then a sense overwhelmed me that was ever so peculiar
And realized in a gasp that the house had seemed familiar
Every winter my closet friends and I would attend
A night of celebration where we’d spend the weekend
Because of family matters I had to call to be late
Now peering at the cabin I couldn’t stand to wait
Before I could take a step closer to my friends not far away
I felt a presence stop me, motioning me to stay
Once again My Father was there right by my side
An once again I turned my head and my face I tried to hide
His glory was so much I still could barely speak
But after a moment of recovery I let out a feint squeak
“Why did you bring me here?” I asked more troubled than before
My Father responded,” Is it true, that I’m the one you most adore?”
Before I could answer He led me straight inside
An there was all my friends from the window I’d quickly spied
“Liz! Sarah! Morgan!” I cried, “Josh! Thomas! I’m here!”
And not one turned to look, not one listening ear
Liz and Josh sat on the couch sipping up their drink
When they still did not hear me my heart began to sink
The others played a game with laughter and many smiles
Though only few feet away our distance seemed like miles
“They can’t see you or hear you so it’s no use to try.
We’re invisible to them and all human eye.”
My face froze upon hearing such news
No matter how loud my voice in my effort I know I’d lose
I sat right beside them and watched as they played
An stared so astonished and rather dismayed
After several minutes the Lord motioned me back
An said, “I must show you now what your heart seems to lack.”
“Hear me now my child, which one would you choose,
If there was but one here you were forced to lose?”
Upon hearing such words my emotions got the best
And in anger I yelled,” Lord is this a test!?”
He allowed me to settle then spoke once more
“Tell me then, should I not take the ones you adore?”
The tears poured fast as I bent down on a knee
“God please, please don’t take my friends from me!”
He answered quickly, “Then tell me why I should spare them for you?”
“O God!” I responded, “Because of all I’ve been through.”
I sunk lower on my knees and I began to grieve
“Father, please, don’t let them leave!”
Such pain overcame me that I began to shake
“Please, Please! Just spare them for my sake!”
Thoughts overwhelmed me of them taken away
How could I live without my friends every single day?
“I hold them so close and so dear to my heart
Lord I could never imagine a life here apart.”
Still I weeped as I gathered strength to stand
After a good failed attempt God offered His hand
I took it and arose as He spoke with great power
“Is that all you say to spare them from their last hour?”
He pointed to Liz still sitting cozy and content
“What if this one was the one who went?”
As quick as I could I ran to the place where she sat
Though when I went to embrace her she felt not a pat
As I touched her face I felt nothing but air
Only my vision could prove she was there
In aspect what I clung to seemed so very unreal
Because she continued talking as if my hand she couldn’t feel
My tears grew stronger as I turned my face to Him
And once again felt desperate and let out a whim
“God please! She’s touched my heart so deep.
You must allow this one for me here to keep!”
God did not respond but pointed once again
And this time to Josh my other beloved friend
Though He said not a word I knew what He meant
What if Josh was the one, the one who went
I clasped my hands to my face and let out another cry
“Without this one my God, I surely would die!”
He went through their names and pointed to them all
And to each I clung to and to my knees I would fall
My heart seemed so weak now I collapsed right there
I remained on the ground not seeming to care
My face I buried on the ground I forced to rise
And for the first time I looked my Savior straight in the eyes
“God you bring me here to my friends whom I love,
Who I care about with my heart and I put most above.
But Father I must tell you I made up my mind
And if it’s your will I’d leave them behind.
Of course for them I’d give up my life
I’d carry their burdens and take all their strife,
But Father You’re the Greatest Friend I’ve ever known
You’ve given up your life to carry my burdens on your own.
And for you if it’s your will, Lord take them here at last,
Because even when I seemed alone you were with me in the past.
Through thick and thin you’ve been there till the end
You’ve been my Greatest Helper, my most precious and beloved Friend.”
A moment of silence went by until God helped me to stand straight
And embraced me in a hug and whispered,” Why did you make me wait?”
I looked upon Him and a smile made Him glow
“But my child it was worth it to hear and now to know.”
“Your love for me has changed your friends’ lives
You’ll realize what I say when you open up your eyes.”
I grew so confused and my God seemed to fade
It seemed once again a trick my eyes had played
I blinked once or twice and my eyes seemed to close
Until I heard a crackle and felt heat upon my toes
My face shone from the light from my fire
Then realized I sat where I once planned to attire
I jumped to my feet and searched all the den
Ever thing seemed back to normal once again…
I let out a sigh as I sunk into my chair
And questioned myself if I was really there
Had it been all a dream or a vision from above?
An all this to tell me it’s Him I must love?
In a matter of seconds I began to smile
And looked at the clock and had not awhile
But before going I had something more important to do
I hit my knees and gently whispered,” Thank you.”
I gathered my things and began to walk out
This time certain who my love was all about.

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