Always and Forever

August 7, 2008
By
It felt like a huge chunk of me was missing. Never mind the fact that every part of my body ached and that I had made myself sick to the stomach of my own demises-- no, as much as that pained both me and my family and friends, nausea and aches and pains had simple cures that could easily be resolved with the help of modern day medicine. Pepto Bismol had become my new best friend.

It wasn't the sickness I was feeling that worried everyone around me and made everything so hard to bear. That was only temporary. It was the large hole in my heart that caused the emptiness inside, the strange sense of abandonment, that sixth sense that me I was missing something wonderful and that without it, I would never quite be the same.

As much as the constant curdling in my stomach was definitely something to worry about, this was something more. Who knew if I would ever get over this? Would I stay like this forever?

I had promised, I had swore that I would him always and forever, no matter what. No matter what. And as long as he loved me right back, I would never stop. I couldn't. To stop loving him would be to stop breathing. It was impossible to go on without him, knowing that I loved him and that he loved me but, in this moment in time, we couldn't have each other. It was the perfect modern day Romeo and Juliet story that I did not wish to finish or play a part in, in any way, shape, or form. Strange what love can do to you.





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