Angel & Antonio

July 24, 2008
By
Its been a year. Silently inside me, I withhold those memories of the past. Those memories that grew cold in me. I thought that if for one second if I could make myself busy in my daily life, Id forget the hidden burdens in my heart. But time passing has only brought back the memories of you.

I remember it was autumn. The park that day appeared like any other autumn day. The leaves were covering the ground. Hardly a spot of grass was to be seen. The air was clear, with an odd burst of wind here and there throwing leaves off trees. I was sitting on a bench.

The book I was reading was clearly uninteresting, for my attention was on the clouds above me. Thunderclouds. Rain. If I knew it was to rain that day then I would brought an umbrella. But of course if I would have brought one, things wouldn’t of turned out the way they did.

As I was thinking how foolish and unprepared I was, I felt a rain drop on my cheek. Looked around saw more. Then a steady rain fall. Then it started to pour. I grabbed my book and jumped off the bench and started running past the trees. My clothes were now wet and glued to my skin.
I saw the entrance to the park that once looked inviting, now made it the happiest thing to exit. I was running, looking at my feet, trying, hoping not to slip and fall like an idiot.

I was going so fast that I didn’t see the person walking my direction with an umbrella. I collapsed into this person with full force, and of course I…..slipped. It was a strange feeling to be lying on your back on the ground, then opening your eyes to find a attractive fellow holding out his hand to help you up. He had brown eyes, and was brunette. The boy was you.

You helped me up then we exchanged names.
You told me your name, Antonio. I told you mine name is Angel.
I remember I felt hot, flushing from embarrassment. Then you asked me if I lived near so that you would walk me home. We walked together talking asking about each other. From that day on I knew there was something about you that drew me to you. And that is how I met you. We became very close after that day.
You were my sunshine on that stormy day.

I remember we did everything together after that. There was rarely a day we didn’t hang. We went for walks, went to the soda shop had a cola each. Sometimes we just sat laughing so hard we cried. We even lay on your grass and watched the sky spread its glitter.
Many months passed.

Antonio, do you remember that one February day that we found the woods? Well, you and I rode our bikes to the Jackson’s Field, the farm which you and I regularly took berries from. So Antonio you and I rode through the field until we came near the dark patch of woods. We stopped. You said “ Race you “. Boy was that strange. I still have the mental picture of me running towards the trees. My heart pacing, mind concentrated.
I was laughing so hard. Once inside I didn’t stop. I had a sense that you were now chasing me so I kept up. I stopped behind a huge oak tree.
I called your name. You didn’t answer. And then all of a sudden like a gush of air, you come behind me and push me to the ground.
I went rolling for a second.
I remember you came up to me, grabbed my hand and said softy to me” Angel do you care about me” then you kissed my cheek.
That moment time stood still, my heart pounded in my chest. I wanted to tell you yes! I do like you, I like you so much! But…instead I slyly shrunk away and answered saying, why would I like you?
I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings, I just didn’t know how to tell you.
Well you let go of my hand then you apologized for kissing me. I didn’t answer. That afternoon we both rode in silence until you dropped me off at my house, rode home. We didn’t talk for three days.
You came up to my door four days after that incident and told me that your dad was ill an needed you to live with him. You were moving. Away.
Then we both hugged. It was the worst feeling I’ve ever felt in my whole entire life. Antonio, on my door step, you told me you love me, and said how even though I may not love you back that you will think of me at every moment of your day. I felt tears start on me. I do love you, Antonio. But the words didn’t come out. I was scared. I wish I could of savoured that moment, make it longer, but no. We both hugged.
A day later you left with sadness in your eyes.

It is a harsh memory it is, to know that you’ve lost something so dear.
Antonio if I could rewind time to that moment when you kissed me I would of said yes. Yes! I do you never leave me. Never.
Because Antonio, I love you.

Its been a year since you’ve moved, and my feelings have never changed.
And so I stand cold, in the park, at the crime scene where we met on that rainy day. Hoping. Waiting. Longing for that day I finally embrace you in my arms and never let go.
And so I stand
The leaves are falling again.





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