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A Heart Taked, Played With, and Broken

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Confused and alone. Thoughts filled my head, but which one, which one to go with. Which one to listen to. I walk slowly down this long shore, so confused that words couldn't even describe a part of how i felt. I've been down this very shore since that moment I was put into this world. But yet, not a single one of those walks, I felt like this. Confused, lonely, emotions mixing in my head like the Boston Tea Party. And yet a part of me tells me that I should get over it, but as minutes pass, that thought slowly dies.

But when I turn my head I see it,a happy, perfect, cheerful couple. How they lived their lives so peaceful and trustful. It reminds me of exactly one year ago, I was walking down this very beach, but as a very different person. That time, well, it was the time of my life. And all of it was thanks to one single person, my one and only true love. Well that's what I believed at the time. We would stroll down this very beach, holding hands, laughing, and watching the bright, life-giving sunset day after day, and yet I never got sick of it. How could I get sick of it with an amazing guy always by my side and always there for me. That was the time of my life.

That is until one day. I saw the love of my life with someone else. Though it wasn't just another girl. It was the popular, mini skirt wearing, cute, cheerleader that every high school has. When I saw this, I didn't know what to say or think of. It hurt me more then a sharp knife blade aimed at my heart. He claimed that they were just “studying”. Though everybody knows what “studying” means in high school. Though I put away my doubts. I knew that any one would love to have my love as a mentor because he was so amazing intelligent. I also trusted my love with all of my heart.. Though it seemed, as days passed, things were getting worse. He started spending more time “studying” and less and less time with me. So as the days passed my doubts grew and grew. Without him, seconds started to feel like minutes, minutes felt like hours, hours felt like days, and days felt like years. Oh, how much I missed him. I used to be attached to my love like a turtle attached to its shell.

As days passed it affected me more and more. My grades started slipping because there was only one thing on my mind, him. Then one rainy, thundery afternoon, I was walking home from school, and there I saw it. The person that I have given up my soul for was kissing another girl. It hurt me more than someone cutting me up into little pieces with a brand new sharp blade. At that moment I couldn't do anything but run. I ran, I ran in any direction that my feet would take me. With my hands covering my red, tearful eyes, my body getting soaking wet from head to toe, all there was of me to do was run. I ran with all my might, using every single part of my body. I ran until not a single muscle in my whole entire body could move even an inch. I felt like my heart had been taken, played with, and broken. Then in the middle of nowhere I sat down and cried. I cried until there wasn't a single tear drop left in my body. At that moment I was hoping a car would come and crash me so I wouldn't have to face life anymore. Then not even knowing the time, I dragged my sad wet self home. And from then on I liked it when it rain because I could cry and nobody would never ever know.

The next morning I came to school and did what I needed to do. It was finally over between him and me. Something I should have done the moment that I saw that kiss. It was the most hurtful thing to do, but I knew it was the #1 thing that I had to do for myself. Months dragged on, and every single night I would cry, I would cry for him. School was it's usual self, out to get me. Days dragged on with me lonely, sad, and of course loveless. But then during one my professors' lecture, he used a very powerful and inspiring quote, “life goes on.” Then the rest of my day went as usual, the world out to get me. Though that one quote was going over and over in my head. It even went through my head all night. From that day on, the quote was all I could really think about.

One day I was burning all my memories , no my years wasted with a fool with a little fire I had made at the beach. After looking at all of the worst moments of my life, I started to walk down the beach. Thats when all the confusion started hitting me. The quote continued going through me very head. The quote was seriously all I could think about. Through my whole mind, it kept on repeating life goes on, line goes on, life goes on. The quote started getting louder and louder in my head. Soon I could barely take it anymore when all of a sudden it hit me, like a big hard rock hitting a glass window. Life goes on. I have hit a bump in the road, but life goes on. My life can still go on. Then I screamed out with all of my might, “LIFE GOES ON!!”. The moment that I screamed it all out, I felt free, alive, and most of all INDEPENDENT. I don't need anyone to make me happy. I can do it all on my own.

That morning I woke up feeling very happy, a feeling that I haven't felt in a while. It felt so good that I even had the nerve to go up and talk to him. After we talked, I felt like a watermelon had been lifted off my chest. After that talk I felt free, alive, and most of all strong. Strong that I finally got myself up and back into this big wide scary world again. We were in a way friends now and it felt great. I felt proud for getting myself up from a hard and lonely world that I had put myself in. It took some time, but I finally got myself up and out there in the world again. That's when I felt like I had learned a rich, life meaning lesson. You can feel horrible like your heart's been taken, played with, and broken but life actually goes on. Things can be tough, but toughness is for the greatest. No matter what happens life goes on. I also learned that I can be a strong and independent person. Which is the best life lesson a person can ever learn.





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