“I can tell you one thing, you definitely don’t want to get mixed up with a guy like him”. This will be my third lecture today. Honestly, this last remark makes me want to punch Sarah right in the nose. I know what I’m doing, and getting romantically involved with the guy who works upstairs is not what I’m doing. “He’s the kind of guy who only wants to get some action. He doesn’t care about you, no matter what he says to make you think that”. I wasn’t thinking that. Nevertheless, Sarah feels the need to explain to me the mistakes she’s made in her benevolent efforts to save my poor, innocent heart from the same fate she endured. People are always treating me like some brilliant glass sculpture that’s so reckless with its own design that they have no choice but to lock me away in a cabinet. They think I’m the same as they are. They think because they’re idiots, I’m going to be an idiot too. They think because I’m a virgin, I’m going to fall for the guy who never loved me; just like they did.

This is all routine for me; and on most days I couldn’t possibly care less, but sometimes it really rubs me the wrong way. “Is that what happened to you?” I look Sarah straight in the eye and show no signs of gratitude for her unsolicited advice. She cocks her head back in offense, “Look, I’m just trying to help you out. Guys like that will take advantage of a good girl like you,” and here comes my favorite line of all time, I swear I hear this more times in a day than any person will hear in a lifetime, “I just don’t want you to get hurt”. Sarah puts on her most endearing and frankly, useless, concerned face as she waits for the apology I have no intention of giving. I look at her, bored with her speech and say, “Well I appreciate you trying to keep me holy and pure, but you’re putting Jesus out of work, so I’m gonna have to ask you to resign as my savior and stop talking to me like you know better.” That one was a little harsh but terribly hilarious, I almost want to laugh. She lets out a short, furiously defensive breath and turns on her heels to walk away from me and go talk s*** with the girl I told the same thing to last week; it wasn’t word-for-word but the same message was in there somewhere. I’m not sorry that Sarah’s upset, she brought that upon herself.

The truth is, guys think I’m pretty. I’m a relatively attractive young woman, I smell good and my hair is thick and healthy so naturally, guys don’t mind talking to me; but here’s where girls get the wrong idea: once guys find out that I’m a “good girl” they cease to view me as their next prey. This is totally and completely true, so if you’re shaking your head at me thinking I’m just an idiot who doesn’t understand men, let me explain. It’s not that because I’m a “good girl” men cease to view me as a potential prospect at all–on the contrary, it somewhat boosts my numbers in that category–it simply means that once they see me as a girl who isn’t going to fall for their level 1 attempt at getting me in bed, they mentally put me aside for when they’re ready for level 5: getting me to the altar. You see, I’m not the kind of girl who’s good for a one-night stand, I’m the kind of girl who’s good for raising kids. Once guys understand this while keeping in mind that they’re in no way ready for kids, they put all sexual tension in the back of their mind, but keep me around as one of their really good friends until the day they decide they’re ready to marry me. It’s honestly pathetic and a little frustrating for me because I like to be romanced every once in a while!

So while Sarah, and every other girl who has been screwed over by guys who have manipulated them into believing they’re loved, think that they’re “looking out” for me and my best interests, it really just shows me that they’re jealous of the relationship I have with all the guys that messed with their heads. They’re jealous because they can’t be friends with those guys, but they don’t know that right now, that’s all I can be with them. Not that it really matters to me, I mean, any guy who thinks he can put me on a shelf until he’s done being a douche bag is pretty much an all-around douche bag. One day though, I’m going to find someone who will wait for me, not leave me waiting. One day, I’m really going to give Sarah something to be jealous about. One day, all the guys who ever thought I’d wait for them are going to kick themselves because while they were bored and busy wandering into the wild, he was searching for his way home.

But until I find him, I won’t give my heart away to some guy who treats me like the trophy, not the prize.