Pain, Love, and Happiness

October 4, 2012
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Pain, Love, and Happiness

Nobody ever thinks that I have feelings, I just cause hurt. No one ever thinks that I too, want to feel love and be comforted. What is Pain? Most of us associate that word with evil, bad things. World War II and 9/11. I didn’t want to cause pain then, but it’s my job. If I don’t cause that emotion, then I die. Pain can be good, I can be good. Pain shows us when to stop and take a breather, when we are hurt, when our emotions are out of whack. I don’t want to be the Spirit of Pain, but it’s my duty.

What is it like to not be in Pain? That I could not tell you. I am always in constant Pain, both physically and mentally, I regret wanting to live forever, I have hurt for every living thing on this earth, for those in depression, for those in war, in death, in hospitals, in confusion and despair. I have to give them that Pain. Because I myself cannot hold it all in, so I was told to distribute my Pain, my hurting to those who need it.

For I am Pain, I wander the world telling those who need that they are hurt. My long, flowing black hair glides behind me silently as I walk through the night. My green eyes piercing those who look at me. The world hates me, the world says I am pure evil. I once was young too, I didn’t want to bring Pain, I want to bring Happiness.

As Pain I am burdened, people grimace when I touch them, they cry and turn away, I just want to love. What is Love? I wouldn’t know, for Love is another, with white hair and angel wings, blue eyes and gold rings. I am Pain, with black hair and devil wings, with green eyes and snake shaped rings around my long thin fingers. Love sings in a happy tone, while my voice cries out softly in sorrow, it carries to those who need to be heard, when you hear someone weep, that is me singing. I often see Love following me, right after I leave a person, she touches them and they smile, despite myself I too smile. I can see how happy she makes the world.

Walking alone I want to die, no one loves Pain, everyone wants me to leave, I see the black passageway, I can end this, the world doesn’t want me, when suddenly a tiny hand grips mine. A little girl? I can feel something, it’s flooding through me, a warm feeling, fuzzy almost. I’m smiling? Am I happy? Is this Love? But it can’t be, Love is a grown women, she nurtures like a mother.

“Do not be saddened, you are Loved.” I hear the child say, she is tiny, gold hair, amber eyes, warm smile, pudgy cheeks.

“I will give you some of me.” And she disappears. Then I realize it, that was Happiness. She was Happy, small, and hard to find, but she gives the greatest feeling on earth. She constantly gives herself to the world, which is why she is so small. She is loved.

Maybe I bring sorrow, but behind me I bring Love and Happiness, as Pain, I can survive, I will go on. Pain is necessary for life, Pain may not be loved, but maybe one day, I too, can find Love, and finally feel her power of forgiveness.

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