Heartache and Heartbreak

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“Are you ok?”...

“Are you ok?” He repeated...
I desperately wanted to strangle him. To hurt, to destroy, to break... to cry... : The heartbreak in its ugliest form. His voice was calm, unstressed, and cautious. He genuinely cared. Still... I wanted to rip him apart... I couldn’t, instead, Brain twisted the ugly desire. Transformed it and forced it back to where it came, back to its master; the demon. Who we know as Heart...
“I’m fine”... were the only words that escaped my mouth. Heart was not happy. He remained broken. Unsatisfied and unloved. He surged onwards with all his burning hate and sorrow, a piercing shock of pain and agony. This did not escape Brain. My chest burned like fire, aches and throbs, all only fuelled Heart’s rage further.

“Are you ok?”... The same question...
Heart roared. Strangled, screamed and suffered. His tormented cries of pain were once again cast aside by Brain. But brain was cruel, ruthless and uncaring. He tormented the heart-broken, found joy in the suffering of the heart-broken, for when Heart was weak, Brain was strong...
“I don’t know”: These were the only words that escaped my mouth, and Brain forced upon Heart a cruel, bittersweet, mocking gesture; a smile... Heart throbbed. He cried. His tears of adrenaline pounded within my veins, I wanted to run away, disappear, lock away Brain and Heart in their endless battle over Body. Instead, Heart was denied again. He almost broke free, almost beat Brain; for a tear formed in the corner of my eye, I thought it would be the end, Heart would win and I would rest easily once again. But Brain was clever. Brain did not want friends. Brain did not want friends to aid Heart. He wished to remain strong, Brain did not need pity, did not want friends, hated comfort. So he commanded Hand to brush away the tear on his fingertip. And once again Heart wailed in all his torment.

At home, in sanctuary now, Heart is tired. The battle rages on, but Brain still controls. Brain masks who we are, prevents true emotion, Destroys personality. The Neocortex of the cerebrum hard at work as it formed lie, upon lie, creating an endless web of untruth. Heart will never be free. I can feel him still. His sobs grow fainter now, but I can hear them within my chest. He hurts me still. One day, Heart will be too strong for Brain. One day... Tear will escape... And one day, I will be at peace.

But Heart was not always broken. There was a time where heart ruled over Brain, a time when Heart found a treasure that was to give him the strength and courage to rule Body- A wasteland, a chemical weapon of muscle and potential damage. This treasure as we know it; a dangerous possession, a burden; Love... For Love had a will of its own. It corrupted Heart into the demon it has become, betrayed him, destroyed him. Love turned him ugly, denied him comfort, denied him relief from bitter loneliness. Love: A demon itself. The trickster. While Brain remained neglected- locked within his chamber of thought- he fought Heart; showed me visions of better times, gave me hope. But Brain was clever, he tricked Heart; forced him to believe that Love cared for him, to the extent that Heart would do anything for Love. He was blinded by Brain’s lies and from deep within, something far more dangerous, far more destructive than Love, erupted from Heart. He became the demon I feel today, burning within, an endless flame. I call it Heartbreak.

When Love betrayed Heart, Brain soon took over, tormented him with visions of foolish fantasies. Body suffered, my concentration blurred, no focus... The battle had only begun. Soon, a curse evolved, from deep within the bowels of the demon, Heart unleashed an unholy curse upon Body. The curse, I believe, is not unheard of... for many centuries, the curse has been unleashed upon the heartbroken, the curse has had many names; Fájdalom... Verkir... Here, I call it Pain. And so the suffering began. Pain was hell within the body; Pain was the devil’s best servant, constant, willing, and effective. The devil in the flesh, my flesh... Pain was the source of Evil, Revenge, Suffering... Pain, it is invincible. Undestroyable. Infinitive. I had to endure, and endure, and endure. Pain was Death’s best friend, he causes unlimited torment upon Body, only until his grip is loosened is Body free. But Pain was persistent. I was sick inside, twisted, and just as Love betrayed Heart... Joy betrayed me, And brain remains the unjust dictator of the wasteland- Body.





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