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Solace In The Dark

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The air was dry. The lack of light reminded me of this confined space. The light seeping through the cracks of the doors kept mocking me of the lack of light I contain inside of me. I cannot be seen outside in the blazing sun. The sun reveals my secrets, my flaws and shows them to the world without regret. I am the fear of many children. I am what they see lingering in the shadows. To be feared by every living thing was lonely.

Silence wasn’t anything new to me, but this silence was far too quiet. It was the type that would be found in horror films traumatizing children at night. Then I heard it. There was a slight scuffle. A few short laughs, that seemed to get louder by the second. A shout and then the door opened with a blinding light. That’s when I saw her. Her eyes filled with uncertainty as her voice pleaded to be let go, for them to stop. Soon enough she was pushed in the closet. My eyes widened in shock from the swish of the door and sound of a click. The laughter grew as her small fists pounded on the door. Then it all just stopped. The laughter, the pounding, all you could hear was her slight whimpering from being shoved in the confines of the shadows.

Bang! The door shook from the outside force. The little girl let out a startled gasp as she fell back with a soft thump. Her eyes glimmered with sadness as she heard the snickering quiet down with another door closing shut, shutting her out from the rest of the world. She shouted one more time to be let out, but her voice trembled and quieted down with unshed tears trailing down her face as she whispered “, please, don’t leave me all alone.” Her eyes looked around in her imprisonment of shadows. Her chest was heaving, and her eyes were closed shut as if the world depended on it. She kept muttering words to herself. Things like “why”, “always me”, “again”, and “alone” kept popping up. She started to relax, but her body was still tense. She had her defenses up, on guard for what was unknown. She had dark hair down to her shoulders. Her body looked frail. Her eyes opened showing a thin layer of fear. She shook at the slightest noises. Every squeak was a witch’s laughter. Every creak was an agonizing scream. Every thump was the beat of her abandoned heart falling apart once more. Then she said something in that soft voice of hers that would break anyone’s heart and make them ask “why?” Her voice, almost like she was telling a secret, her voice cracking as she said “, Even my own sister wants me to disappear,” she took a shaky breath “, was I such a terrible sister that I deserved to be abandoned again?” Once again I was greeted by silence.

She hugged her knees as she stifled a cry. I replayed everything she said repeatedly in my head. There was one word that just kept bothering me “again.” What did she mean by “again”? She picked up her head and crawled over to a darker part of the closet. She seemed more comfortable to be in the shadows now. Maybe, she had secrets of her own. The things unsaid that broke her but kept her together at the same time. Her fingers traced the faint cracks on the wooden floor glumly. Her arms now seemed limp. Her eyes spoke of untold words just waiting to break free. She looked at the door and gave a broken laugh as she looked away. That laugh sent chills down my spine. I felt guilty, that I should be doing something to comfort her. I couldn’t possibly do that though. I am nothing but darkness; no one ever finds comfort in darkness.

I moved closer and I noticed that she tensed up again. I noticed that her eyes started to glaze over with tears as her body still shook slightly. Her eyes looked like empty shells. She seemed so broken, yet she didn’t want to let herself fall apart again so soon. There was no longer any light shining through the cracks of the door. The light had long disappeared. It was pure darkness in the closet. The girl shook again. It was then that I realized that it had gotten very cold. Her lips parted with a silent cry of misery. Her curved lashes were laced with salted pearls. As one started to track down her pale cheek, I wiped it away softer than a feather. I think I understand now, her reason of being frightened in the shadows. It wasn’t entirely because it was dark; it was because she was afraid of being forgotten there like she is now. Her eyes started to leak those salted pearls again. I put an arm over her shoulder, surrounding her in my darkness, letting her know that someone was still there for her. She stopped shivering. Oh, the irony of her finding warmth in my chilling darkness lifted my heart. I looked at her one more time whispering in her ear “, don’t worry little, I haven’t forgotten you.” Her lips curved up slightly as she laid her head on where my shoulder would be, and that’s how I knew. It was a silent understanding of being heard and being wanted. Then maybe, just maybe the dark wasn’t so lonely after all.



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