Little Red Riding Hood

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Hello boys, girls and jury. Today I’m going to tell you the true story of little red riding hood. So one sunny day in May I was watching TV in my house. I was watching the cooking channel. While I was watching I heard the awful singing of little red riding hood. Ugh was her voice bad. So I went out on the path and looked at her.
I thought to myself wait this is the little girl that steels things and gets away with it. I wonder why she’s in these parts of the woods. Maybe she is trying to get away from the cops.
I said to myself, “What ever Ill just talk to her.”
I said, “Please stop singing it makes my ears bleed.”
She said, “Be quite wolf and go blow some more pigs houses down.”
In reply I said, “Excuse me but don’t blame me for what my cousin did, blame him.”
So she said in return, “Wolf got to go don’t want to stick around.”
I asked her, “Before you go do you have flour, water, and oil on hand?”
She said, “Yes why?”
I replied, “Well I’m learning how to make bread sticks.”
She said, “Wow wolf you really are weird.”
I replied, “Excuse me little girl but you should respect the adults.”
She said, “Well guess what I don’t care. I have to be going now wolf I’m in a rush goodbye weirdo.”
I waited for the girl to get around the hedges then I started to follow. So I followed the girl over a river and got to a hotel. I thought to myself why would a girl go to a hotel for the night. Maybe she’s just resting. So I waited for 2 hours. Finally she came out and started to walk through the woods. Suddenly I heard her singing, “over the river and through the woods to grandmother’s house I go.” She kept repeating this 10 times until she got tired of saying it. Ugh the Awful voice. But then I realized over the river we went to go to the hotel. Through the woods we are now, and then to grandmother’s house we go. I got it were going to her grandmother’s. Maybe she will give me some flour, water, and oil. I hope this river is small because I can’t get my hair wet or else I will look like a toothpick.
So we came to the river after 1 hour of walking. How the river sparkled so bright. I wanted to say something but I didn’t want little red riding hood to hear me. So I crept behind her with small steps like a bug. She couldn’t hear a thing. So we crossed the river and got to her grandmothers house. I got to the house, sat down by the window, and opened it a smidge. I was listing to them talk. As they were talking I heard some words pop out in my ear like do you have it, and yes I have it? This caught my ear.
I heard her saying, “We have to go fast grandma I have illegal bread making




ingredients.”
I walked in the door and said, “You have to get rid of the bread, I have already called the cops.”
She yelled at me and said, “Wolf your going to get it, but me and my grandma have to go because of you.”
They ran out of the house and went into the woods never to be seen again. I took her red cape and put it on because it was no use for her. So I took the ingredients. As I was walking home I saw the cops coming my way. I froze like an ice pop. The cops saw me with the cape and thought I ate little red riding hood. They put me in hand cuffs and put me in a cell until today, the court day. This is my story I hope you understand how this happened.
“Let me go free” I said.
“We have come up with an answer” said the jury.
“Mr. Wolf you are guilty on the account of murder and you will be sentenced to life.”
The guard said, “You have the right to remain silent, anything you do or say will be held in the court of law, you have the right of attorney, if you don’t have one will be appointed to you, do you know your rights.”
I said, “Yes sir I do.”





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