Regretful Selfishness

May 29, 2008
Guess I shouldn't have done that. Looks painful doesn't it? You'd be surprised by how much it didn't hurt. It sure did cause a huge mess though. Look at that man trying to get the blood off the sidewalk. Poor fellow, just look at him struggle. Just another one of my regrets I suppose. I have so many. It's rather surprising how wise you become after an accident like that. I cqan't believe I was that stupid. I wish she'd stop crying. Can't they see she needs to get out of here? No they just let her sit there all alone, watching the slow methodic process of the man who's wiping me off the pavement. I wish she knew I was here, but I guess that still wouldn't help much.
It's such a bummer being dead. You can't talk to anybody anymore. She must've thought I wouldn't ever get hurt, but it was the nature of my job. You see professional stuntmen always die from their jobs in the end. I knew it going in, but I guess she didn't. I guess I didn't think I would die that soon either. We'd only been married a year, but it is too late. I got too cocky. They kept asking me to do it, and she kept warning me not to. I did it anyway. I always was a proud sort of fellow. It's a wonder I didn't die sooner. Man am I stupid. I didn't even take the usual precautions. My mind was elsewhere. On the fans, on the director, on the money. Now I'm nothing, not even a shadow. I had everything I wanted, money, a life of relative ease, a wife, and I went and screwed it up. It all happened so fast. Life is fleeting. In the shortest moment of my life, everything I had was snatched away from me. What do I have to live for now? Nothing, I guess.

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