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The Unwanted Child

By , Batangas, Philippines
The whole house was silent when I woke up. I rolled over my bed and glance at my alarm clock. It’s already four o’clock in the morning. With a weary sigh, I got out of bed and got in the shower. After dressing up in my usual casual clothes I headed downstairs and started cooking breakfast for myself. It has been this way ever since I can remember. Every weekend, my parents along with my brother and sisters will go on a trip not bothering to tell me or ask me to come-all because my birth in this family is not planned. In short, I was an unwanted child. I grow up almost on my own. Aside from the fact that they still give me money for my needs but other than that, they don’t care for me at all. I learned to stand on my own feet an early age. I learned to endure the pain and somehow, I learned to bottle up the pain in my heart. It was the only thing that keeps me going on.
The car’s honk pulled me out of my reverie and I glanced outside to confirm it’s them. A black van pulled in the driveway and immediately, blabbering and merry laughter filled my ears. I gripped the knife harshly, unconscious that it’s the blade I’m holding at until pain throb in my hand. I bit my lip to stop the cry of pain and stared coldly when they enter.
Mom and Dad didn’t even spare me a glance so as my two sisters, Caitlyn and Kara. Carter just sneered and looked at me in distaste as if I was a living eyesore he wanted nothing to do about. They didn’t even say “were home” or “you cut yourself?”
They simply passed by not bothering to care. Once they were gone, I rapidly blink the tears away and stared with disgust in my bloody hand. I quickly washed it and bandage it on my own before resigning myself in the confines of my room until noon time, until my emotions were once again stable. I quickly threw on a pair of jogging pants, a black hoodie and worn out rubber shoes. I need to go for a run. I need to exhaust myself to the point of feeling numb so I could sleep. I passed the living room, where all of them were lazily lounging at.
“Where are you going?” I heard my Mom said but today I really just don’t care. Instead of stopping and asking for permission I ignored her, knowing if I answer or not doesn’t bother her in the least. Once, I was outside, I inhaled a lungful of oxygen and started my jog in the nearby park.
“Where are you going Krizzy?” Carter’s voice stopped me on my tracks and I looked at him coldly. I didn’t notice he wasn’t at home but does it even matter? He rarely even notices me. I pressed my lips tightly not wanting to answer and turned back to jog.”Hey! I’m not yet done talking to you, why don’t you answer me?” He grabbed me by the shoulder and turned me to face him. Confusion was written all over his face but I on the other hand made sure no emotion betrayed my eyes.
“Don’t talk to me” I hissed in a voice I couldn’t recognize as my own. This is what they turned me to-a cold, heartless and unfeeling human.
He took a step back in shock and I used it as an opportunity to run away from him, away from everybody else. I heard him calling my name but I didn’t stop, I’ve had enough.
After some time, I found myself wandering the streets of our town. It’s exactly nine in the evening by now but who cares right? I’m sure they’re peacefully sleeping in their bed. With just the thought I felt anger rolling off me in waves but I quickly shrugged it off. I just need to go to bed and then to school.
The light was still on in the living room and much to my surprise, my mother was there. It looks like she was even waiting for me but who am I kidding? Of course she wouldn’t. I laughed bitterly at my silly thought and walked past her pretending I saw no one.
“It’s late, where have you been?” She asked calmly in a motherly voice I yearned to hear but its just too late to go back and be forgiving.
“Nowhere” I mumbled under my breath but made sure she heard me right.
“You shouldn’t talk to me like that! I’m your mother!”
“Oh yes I forgot but you forgot things too mother like its my birthday today”
She froze and her eyes reflected pain but for all I knew she was just ashamed-ashamed that she doesn’t even remember my birthday. I laughed humorlessly at her and give her a dismissive wave.
“Don’t worry, we haven’t celebrated it even once and I celebrated it alone today”
She stared at me like she wanted to say something and I stupidly waited but nothing came. I spun in my heel and run upstairs. Carter and my two sisters were oddly outside my door.
“Excuse me” I said tying to get through them but they stayed there with crazy grins.
“Happy Birthday!” they said in unison but I stayed unresponsive, staring at them like they’re mad.
“Could I sleep now?” I asked them coldly and hurt crossed their faces but I don’t see the reason why they should be.
“Goodnight Baby sis” I heard carter mumbling but like before I ignored him. I shut my door and sat on the edge of my bed. I took out what I brought from the drugstore-sleeping pills. Everything is a little too late now. I’m tired and I don’t see any reason to deal with anyone. I opened the lid of the bottle and popped some pills in my hand. I stared at it then to the family picture in my bed side table. I’m not included in family pictures so I just edit one in Photoshop and squished a picture of myself. Pathetic right? I laughed at myself and without any more doubts I swallowed the pills and snuggled in my bed praying that tomorrow it will all be too late and I won’t have to open my eyes again.
Mother’s P. O. V
“Oh yes I forgot! but you forgot things too mother. It’s my birthday today.”
I stared blankly in space unable to breathe right. Krizzy was-
She was not-
I couldn’t form a coherent thought in my head as her cold eyes flashed in my mind. She was not the same Krizzy anymore. Her eyes said it all- all the hatred, pain and longing. How could I forget? How could I forget her birthday today? I am her mother. My heart was breaking and I wanted to go to her but could I? Could I stand the picture of her in her bed, staring off to somewhere I couldn’t reach?
“Camilla, I’m going to bed first.”
My husband mumbled and proceeded upstairs. His eyes held a deadly warning and his boys rang through my ears.
“Don’t even try to talk to her Camilla! I swear if I even see her smiling I’ll kill her and I’ll beat up Carter again!”
That’s why….that’s the reason why I…why we…
A choke sob came out from me but tonight I’ll protect my daughter, even if it cost my life, even if it means to kill, even if it means to protect the fruit of my infidelity.
I walked towards the kitchen and hastily grabbed our best knife. I gripped it tightly like y own life depended on it. I stopped in front of Krizzy’s room where I know the demon lurked and without any hesitation, I opened the door with a bang startling my husband who was on top of my precious baby.
I know….I knew what he is. Anger blinded my justification and with a cry of rage I thrust the knife in his shoulder. He fell from the bed and groaned in pain but I just numbly looked at him and gathered Krizzy to my arms.
“Darling I’m here. Mommy’s here.” I cooed in her ear.
“Mom?” Her voice was distant and almost above that of a whisper and I already know something was wrong.
“Darling are you all right?” I shook her by the shoulders telling her to open her eyes. I smiled when she cracked her eyes open.
“You’re here Mom.” Tears started flowing in her cheeks and she smiled sadly as she added. “but its too late now Mom.”
Fear shot through me. “No darling. Everything’s going to be fine.”
She shook her head slowly then to my surprise she flipped me off so I lay in my back and she was above me, kneeling on all fours. At first I didn’t understand what it was about until she cried in pain and coughed blood. My eyes widened and I looked past her to my husband who was shock as me but being the demon he was, he fled out of my sight.
“I cupped Krizzy’s face. “Darling no, you can do this. I’ll take you to the hospital. Hold on Baby!” I said soothingly as fear coursed in my veins.
“Carter!” I bellowed and shook Krizzy’s shoulder. She opened her eyes. “Mom, I’m sorry.” she said trying to speak straight.
“You don’t need to say that….I am the one who needed to say sorry myself. I was afraid Baby…” I sobbed as she coughed blood again.
“Mother” She said her breathing ragged and once again I called to Carter.
“I-I love you”
I’m sure my heart stopped beating as I heard her words but then her eyes drooped closed. “Say happy Birthday to me Mom.” She pleaded and held my hand tightly.
With all my heart I did what she asked me to. “Happy Birthday” With that her hold weakened and eventually her arm fell limply on her side.





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