July 18th, 2012

Marry for money. For financial gain. Property. Wealth. Not love. Don't choose the man that makes you laugh, loves you unconditionally, or showers you with kisses in the morning. Such a man doesn't exist anyway...not for you, at least. Tell yourself that marriage is an institution that fails as often as it succeeds, and believe it, because if you don't, you're setting yourself up for pain. Don't even try, because you will be rejected. Do you really want to risk getting hurt? Instead, pursue a fool proof method for success: marry a man for his money. Don't let him in. Do not love him. If you don't care for him, you won't be left alone when he leaves. You'll lose money, sure, but not a part of you.


Present day, 2024

It didn't work.Twelve years and three husbands later I'm alone and with a very un-extraordinary sum of cash in my bank account. Turns out life likes to ruin plans. People aren't as stupid as I thought they were, and I wasn't as smart as I thought I was at age eighteen. Regardless, I'm thirty one now and the epitome of a woman who's drowned in her dreams. As I sit in my cramped excuse of an office that I wanted so badly long ago, I think about how different my life could've went. If only I would have made better decisions, or learned from my mistakes. Instead of trying to crack this god forsaken security code into the late hours of the night for 12 dollars an hour, I could be tucking my daughter into bed, or falling asleep next to the man that I love. It's hard to believe that such a dream is a reailty for all of my friends. I can't help but feel a bit sorry for myself, knowing that I will be going home tonight to eat a dinner for two by myself, and fall asleep in a king sized bed with an empty space next to me where someone should be. And to think that my own ignorance and idiotic moral code got me into this lonely mess makers me even more sick to my stomach. A word to the wise-money will make you happy. It will make you feel good, and buy you things that allow you to experience pure joy. But it's only temporary. A great ruse. Because when it's three in the morning and you have something on your mind, you can't roll over in bed and pour your heart out to a stack of dollar bills. You can't spend your life with good old Benjamin Franklin. He will only get you so far, before you realize that the longer you keep him, the more he will fade, just like your hopes for a real relationship, or your chances of starting a new chapter in your life.