The Day I Grew Up

May 15, 2008
By Catriona Juliet, Ontario, OR

The scenery blurred together. The trees, the grass, it was all the same. Here in the middle of no where, nothing was different. Nothing stood out, nothing varied from the norm. The people fell under the same category. Here in Vale, the people, the place, the location, all seemed to be one big blur.

I never really liked my name. So I wont tell you. Lets not bother will silly formalities. This story isn’t about me, or the name that my mother so “kindly” gave me. This is about something much bigger than that.

You never really notice when history is happening. You never stop to think that maybe your changing the world, maybe your changing your life. That day, that fateful day, I never really realized that I was taking a path that would someday lead me to success. Like my Spanish teacher used to say “I was entering the realm of maturity.” When I look back on it, I didn’t notice that anything was different. I didn’t feel different, I felt the same old me. I was just as boring as the scenery that I blended into.

Growing up, I was careless. My thoughts didn’t span past dinner time, and if it did, it was about the newest toy I wanted. My parents got a divorce, and I guess it sort of harden my exterior. Still, it didn’t stop me from having an almost normal childhood. Back then, I used to strive for normality. I just wanted to be like every other kid on the block. As I stared out the window that day, I couldn’t help but wish that something would change. I wanted something different in my life. Living in Vale was like living in a cold bowl of tasteless mushroom soup.

The last period bell had rang and I jumped out of my seat. My mind seemed to scream the word ‘home.’ I wanted to go home. I needed to go home. My bed was sending out rays of relaxation, and who was I to deny its power?

The bus ride home was bearable. If that. The noisy kids, the humidity, everything was just so uncomfortable. My stop was one of the last, so I was in for an hour or so bus ride. I knew that I would have a lot of time to kill, so I pulled out my cell phone. Now, this action could normally earn me a “white slip.” I threw my cares to the wind, and began to type out a simple text message.

Also, before I continue, I would like to explain something to all of the adults out there. I know my mother doesn’t understand why I text message, and I don’t know if you do. Its almost the simplest form of communication. You can say things without having to face the person. I guess text messaging makes you say things you normally wouldn’t. That could be either a good or bad thing.

All I said to him was “Hey.” He is in fact, my then boyfriend Jack. Jack was everything I wanted in a guy, and everything I didn’t need. I guess I loved him. But even as I sit here today, I don’t know what love is. I told him I loved him, and he said it back. The first time we said it, it was kind of a big deal. But after that, it just sort of became a habit.

It took him a while to reply, which would normally worry me. I’m that kind of person that gets really impatient over the stupidest things. But, I just brushed it off as him being usual Jack and laid my head on the window. My hand vibrated and I looked down at my cell phone. “NEW TEXT MESSAGE FROM JACK” A small smile seemed to play on my lips as I slowly opened the phone. No one heard my gasp over the sound of the heater. No one heard it but me.

“I’m sorry cat but we have to brake up.” Wow. Those words seemed to almost stop my heart. And I know it sounds cliché, but I was really shocked. The day before he was telling me how he “needed” me and how I “completed” him. Those words made my eyes blur more than the non-changing scenery. My day was ruined. So I thought.

I still had half of the bus ride home. I decided to take my time and think this through. You know, becoming ‘analytical’ about the situation. And then it hit me, kind of like a brick through a window. This new thought seemed to shatter all the things I thought I knew. Just like the brick it was.

Maybe, maybe this was for the better. Everyone says that. Every teenage girl says that “its for the better” or that “this just wasn’t meant to be.” They just say that because they want to cover up the pain. I even admit that I’ve said it a few times myself. But this time, I was on to something.

It’s time I need to think about myself. I need to have my best interests in mind. I need to start living for me. I need to start building my future. People like Jack are just holding me back from my full potential. A swarm of thoughts seemed to swim through brain like they were a school of fish. I wasn’t over Jack by far. But I knew that something in my mind had changed. It wasn’t like at that moment I realized that I had grown up. But in time, I began to accept the fact that I had indeed, crossed over to the dramatic world of almost adulthood.

I will never forget that day. I don’t remember what I wore, what I ate, or how my classes went that day. But I do remember that something inside of me seemed to convert to a new way of doing things. I do know that I will never forget that day. And I know for a fact that I have never been the same.

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