Tyson Bo Byson

May 15, 2008
By Molly Young, Marion, IL

Heyyyy Tyson Bo Byson! What are yoooou doin here??!!
Ope, whale that makes sense to be shoppin here ‘cause it’s a mall. Haha… I’m not shoppin though, I’m justa road walkin around.
Oh, that’s just an inside joke.
It’s between me n’ Bryan, from a looooong time ago. Do you know he’s got himself a new lolit? Yup, he’s only known her for two weeks and they’re already thick as thieves.
Those lolits, they’re trouble. My last girlfriend, Mia, was a clown, always bringin other guys around to make me jealous, lying to me, just lots of stuff. I can’t believe I put up with all that stuff for so long, I should’ve gotten rid her a long time ago, don’t you think, buddy?
Mia thinks she broke up with me, can you believe that Tyson Bo Byson? But really, I would’ve ended it eventually. You know, Tyson, the worst part about it was she didn’t even tell me why she broke up with me. One day she just said it was over, she wouldn’t explain or anything. I begged and begged but she wouldn’t tell me why. Well, I didn’t really beg, but I asked a whole lot, and she still wouldn’t. What kinda crap is that, huh? I wasn’t upset or anything, though. I mean, I didn’t cry or nothin’. She turned me off of girls though. Girls are a bwaaaad deal.
I guess you’re right. Some of ‘em aren’t tooooo bwad. I know this one girl named Lauren, she’s a gwoood deal. Do you know her?
Ope, dope, nope, I figgered you prolly wouldn’t, ‘cause she’s from my school. She’s a pretty cool girl. She’s got this hair though, I guess it was an accident, she dyed it bright bright bright pink. It looks pretty dumb, but who am I to say, right? Right.
Ope, yeah, I know that girl too. Her hair looks even sillier than Lauren’s does. Why would you dye your hair blue and green? I just don’t understand, why would you do that, Tyson, why?? Haha. I’m just kiddin’. I also heard some other stuff about her. I heard she’s a pretty big slut. Have you heard that?
Oh, I don’t remember who told me that, I just heard it around. I think I saw her flirting with Charlie Feldman the other day too. Most girls that flirt with him are pretty much sluts I think. Mia used to flirt with him in front of me all the time.
You and Mia aren’t still friends, are you Tyson?
Whale you believe me about her, right?
You know none of that’s true, right? I don’t talk bwad about people, I’m not like that at all. You’re one of my best friends, Tyson Bo Byson, you know I wouldn’t lie or talk bwad about people behind their backs, right?

She’s the one that’s lying to all of you guys. I wouldn’t trust her. I’ve told you about all the stuff she’s done to me.

I only threw her necklace out the window as a joke, she’s way too sensitive. She blew it way outta proportion. I was just kiddin’ around. You can’t say it wasn’t funny. And I only dressed up like her once, and that was for Halloween and it was just a joke. She’s done much meaner stuff to me.

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