[The Spalden’s and the Lanes have been neighbors for many years and the Lanes decided to invite the Spalden’s to dinner at their two story house.]
George: Welcome neighbors to our lovely home! Come in, come in.
[They enter]
Kathy: Thank you for inviting us to dinner George.
George: Any time Kathy. (Turns to Jack) Wendy's out on the patio.
Jack goes to the patio.
Jack: Hey Wendy, what’s up?
Wendy: I don't know the sky?
Jack: [smirks] Funny. Seriously, how are you?
Wendy: I'm a 28 year old woman living in her father's house. How do you think I am?
Jack: Yeah, I know what you mean. Wanna get married?
[30 second pause]
Wendy: What?? What do you mean 'Wanna get married?' What kind of proposal is that?
Jack: Hey, it's just an offer, a mutual contact if you will. We could finally move out of our parents houses.
Wendy: What kind of girl do you think I am? I mean sure I want to get married, and you're kind of cute but what girl in her right mind would accept a proposal like that?
Jack: Hey, I just figured you could use a way out of this house, I mean you're father's kind of an a** so who wouldn't jump at the opportunity to leave!
Wendy: How can you talk about my father that way?? He's a great man! Better than your mother who's a royal witch with a capital B!
Jack: My mother is a fantastic woman! Don't you dare talk about her like that!! [slaps Wendy]
[10 second pause]
Jack: Oh, Wendy I'm so sorry I didn't mean --
[Wendy slaps Jack]
Wendy: smiles you know you should never hit a girl right? Because they hit back. Harder.
Jack: Yeah, I'm starting to figure that out. [laughs] And you're right about my mother, she's kind of a b****.
Wendy: And you're right about my father, he's kind of a jerk. pause So what about that proposal?
Jack: [looks away] Forget about it. It was impulsive. Why would you want to marry a guy like me?
[Wendy moves closer]
Wendy: Maybe I think you're cute. Maybe I think you're sweet. Maybe I think I've loved you since we were kids. Don't look at me like I'm crazy. I still remember when we first moved here, you were on patio and I came out crying because I couldn't find my favorite stuffed animal and you looked at me and said 'Don't cry, here this is Mr. Fluff he'll protect until you find your toy.' I still have him you know, sitting on my head board.
Jack: you still have him? After all of these years?
[Jack moves closer.]
Wendy: Yeah I do. Wendy Kisses Jack
[George enters the patio]
George: What is this?[ pushes Jack away from Wendy]. You are far too young to be doing these kinds of things!
Wendy: Dad! I'm 28 years old. Jack is hardly the first person I've kissed and it's my life anyway!
George: Not while you live in my house!
Wendy: Fine!! Then I'll leave. [To Jack] I would love to marry you Jack.
George: What do you mean Marry!! I will not give you my blessing.
Wendy: This is the 21st Century. I. Don't. Need. You're. Blessing. [Turns to Jack] Come on we'll go to the court house right now!
George pushes Jack over the railing of the patio.
Wendy: Jack!!! Dad how could you??
George: I don't know what came over me. I'm so sorry baby.
Jack: [stands up] I'm ok. Still want to get married?
Wendy: Of course!
George: Kathy, control your son!
[Kathy comes to the patio]
Kathy: George you knew this has been coming since they were little kids. Just give them your blessing and take them to the court house.
George: But, but . . .
[the scene fades out on George looking between Kathy and the kids.]