JOE AND HIS CAR

By
“Hey dude you want to come over and do nothing for a while game for a while?”
“Yes sounds amazing” Joe threw on his white Air Jordan Nike shoes and ran like lightning down the street to Fred’s house.
“Hey Fred what’s up?”
“The sky it’s always been up and blue, I am just fighting the intergalactic war in Halo.”
“I am joining in.” The both playing Halo when all of a sudden, “crash” they both turned around and saw that Bob who is Fred’s next door neighbor. Bob walked in the house and knocked over an old family vase that contained Fred’s grandparent’s ashes in it from the cremation.
“Wow Bob really has some guts coming over after he burnt down Fred’s old house.” Joe thought.
Fred yelled “get lost and skedaddle”. While Joe was driving the mongoose off a cliff in Halo specifically to make Fred have to start the game over. Then he thought man it would be nice to have a car.
“I need a car Fred,” Joe’s controller runs out of batteries and the little grunts on the TV screen kill him.
“Get a job, quit being a lazy bum, get off your a** and earn enough money to buy your own.” Fred’s vehicle blows up out side.
“Freaking a Bob get the hell of my law before you do something else.”
“That’s a wonderful idea Fred, but I am always tired, from waking up in the morning, to listening to all the boring teachers at school, to practice after school, and I don’t like to work on weekends because I always have stuff to do, I just don’t have the time.” Joe decided to stop complaining about everything. He got up from Fred’s couch and flung open the door and unknowingly it smacked Bob in his stupid gingerly looking face
“Awwwwwww”
“Clunk” he dropped.
Joe yelled back to Fred “Bob was ease dropping again and got hit in the face from the door.”
“Well he deserves it; just leave him there, that jerk.” Joe left looking for a job, but all he could see was the blue sky that Fred had been talking about.
Joe walked his way down Fred’s rich subdivision crossed over to the side walk and walked for an hour. He then discovered in the town of Flabbervill a sign that read help wanted. The building was all green, old, smelled bad, and had some old rusty trucks; it looked like a gas station that had no windows. This place was called Professional Plunging. Joe walked in he could smell the stench of s***. The ground was covered in water, and leaky pipes were scattered every where. Joe obviously saw why they needed help. There were two people working their, Mario and Luigi and the place was flooded up to their neck and it was almost out of business.
“Do I need to apply?” Joe knew it was a dumb question, because why would anyone else want to apply there, but he thought he’d give the business its due respect.

Mario swam to the top of a desk and looked through a bunch of blank papers pretending that they had useful information on them.
“Well looks like we got an open spot. You want it? Good, we’ll start you off at eight dollars an hour.”
“No I want ten dollars an hour with tax reduction already taken out, and my insurance paid for” Demanded Joe.
Mario was in no mood to argue, because he was really wet and desperately needing a worker. “Ok, you start tomorrow.”
Joe walked to Fred’s house as the sun was setting. He approached Fred’s house looked on the ground and discovered that Bob is still there knocked out on the ground with drool dripping from his mouth all over the porch. Joe walked right past Bob, staring in disgust, and then Joe flung open the door and shouted, “I am now a plunger.”
Fred “that is the worst job and dumbest job I’ve ever heard of.”
“I make good money, and, look; someone’s got to do it.”
The next day was sunny, warm, and felt wonderful. Joe’s friends were out side playing football and having a swell time. Meanwhile Joe was trapped in the Professional Plunging structure swimming around following Mario, and learning how to become a professional plumber. He despised the smell, gloominess and wondered why it was always wet in the damn building.
“You ready for your first job Joe?” Mario and Joe went to Mr. Wilson’s house because his toilet got clogged and wouldn’t flush. Mr. Wilson only had one toilet so he had been going to the bathroom in the clogged toilet all day.
When they got there, Mario told Joe how to unclog it. “Hear just take this stick and move it around down in the silver toilet pipe there and mash it up, like mashed potatoes Joe.” He put on gloves and wedged his hand down the toilet and started to smash up the crap. He pulled his hand up from the human waste he threw off his gloves. Mario and Joe flushed and watched as all the brown chunky water went down the pipe. Mario congratulated Joe on a job well done. They walked back to the plumbing building and just cleaned the up the cob webs, windows, bathrooms, and most importantly drained the water out.
Joe got done with work around ten dripping wet and walked home. “Drip” “Drip” “Creeeeeek” the door opened and Joe tried to sneak in unnoticed like a lion hunting its prey trying not to wake his parents. “Baaaaam” the lights turned on and theirs his family to congratulate him on his first day of had work. They surprised him so much that he jumped in the air and got his head stuck in the ceiling. He fell on the cake and saw there were a pair of keys on the table. “No way, you didn’t, it can’t be, thank you, I love you guys, now I can quit that crummy job of mine.” Joe thought “it’s going to be a new car, fast one, runs great, and looks great.” Joe walked with an exciting kick in his step towards the back door while yelling back. “Thank you so much lets go check it out.” He opened the back door; he saw the green grass, cool aid, the broken tree fort that he played on when he was younger, a Leprechaun that said
“Their after me lucky charms” and the garage with his parent’s cars in there. The night was dark; maybe he just couldn’t see it. He gazed across the yard one more time, and couldn’t find the car.
“Where is it?”
“It’s right there it’s your fathers old truck, we finally got it working so we decided to give it to you, you like it?” She said with a big bright smile on her face.
“Yes it’s wonderful” with a somewhat sarcastic tone to his voice but not enough to detect. Later on Joe is lying in bed, it was really nice what my parents did giving me the truck; but I also just wanted a cool car. Not an old truck that doesn’t run very well, hard too steer and uses a lot of gas. I am happy to have family that cares about me and I don’t want to hurt their feelings by either selling the truck or basically saying that I want a car that’s a bit newer. He went to bed for the night.
“All right I got today off of work lets see what to do; I know I think ill head over to Fred’s and see what he’s up to.
“Rummmmmm”
“Creeeeeeek”
“Crraaaaaaak”
“Damn this truck got some problems; I don’t know any trucks that are suppose to make a craaaaaaak sound.” Joe drove down the road and thought he heard something fell of his truck “oh well.” On his way to Fred’s all the mean kids in the neighborhood were out side playing, and when they saw Joe’s truck, they started throwing rocks at it because it was ugly. He stumbled onto Fred’s drive way and saw something “Looks like Fred’s home, but what’s that on the porch?” Bob was still knocked out on the porch, kind of like road kill. Joe walked in “Do you know that Bob is still on your porch?
“Ya I know that he is still there, I had a doctor come over the other day to see what was the matter with Bob, and he said that “Bob was in a coma and they would come by sometime today” and he’s going to pick him up.” Joe walked inside with little concern for Bob but not much. He walked into the living room where Fred spent most of his days just laying there on his leather couch, and white carpet watching his flat screen TV while eating his cheese puffs. Joe thinks Bob is a bum. Joe told Fred his problem how his parents got him an old rusty truck, when he just wanted a somewhat newer car that can go over one hundred miles per hour and wouldn’t break down on him for a while.
“Joe you’re lucky to have what you got and should appreciate what your parents gave you. Easy for him to say his parents are rich, never home, and just bought him a black viper sports car about a month ago. “Fred just doesn’t know how good he’s got it.” Joe left Fred’s home quite upset and on his way out he smacked Bob to relive some of the stress.
Joe decided to walk down to his work, but then he fell into a hole, he got out and continued on his way to have a talk with Mr. Luigi. As Joe left Fred’s he hears a deafening sound, he turned only to see that the ambulance has finally arrived for Bob. Poor Bob Joe thinks to himself. No one likes him, its sad. Joe arrived at the professional plunging building. He walked in and yelled “Luigi”. Luigi who is also a mechanic came out from under a car.
“Yes Mr. Joe what do you need?”
“I need advice.”
“Yes well go on lad I’ll give you the best advice I can.”
“Well you see I took this job because I wanted to earn enough money to buy my own car, but you see my parents gave me their old truck that is nice but is only for going short distances and low speeds, and its not that great looking; my parents are so nice and I don’t want to disappoint them because I really appreciate what they did for me, but I would really just like to have a car.” Luigi with a smirk on his face as he was passing gas smiles and says
“Well to me it don’t look like no problem, why don’t you just tell your parents what you told me, I mean they wont stop loving you, tell them you can sell it and or just keep it and buy a car too, then you will have both.”
“ Luigi that smells so bad, but your right I’ll just tell them and maybe sell it or trade it in, and buy the car I would like; thanks Luigi I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Have a good night lad.” Luigi said as he passed more gas.
Joe went home and told his parents how he felt and what he wanted to do. They understand and are a little sad. Next week Joe and his parents went to a dealership and traded in the old truck for about a thousand dollars. Joe saved up over fifteen hundred dollars at his job. He already had a thousand dollars in the bank so he was able to buy himself a nice 1998 blue car. It runs right, goes over one hundred miles an hour, drives easy, and he was very happy with it. Joe is driving around one day he decided to go back to Fred’s house and show him his new car. He pulled into Fred’s crummy drive way. To his amazement he saw fire burning on the house. He saw ashes in the air, the smoke covered his windshield, the death of wood as it burn into the fiery flames. Old family artifacts burning and his leather couch had melted. He saw Fred on the porch with a puddle of tears under him. His face was dark from the ashes, and his white shirt was no longer white, it was grey. Joe got out and asked
“What happened?”

“I am simply just going to kill Bob; I am going to kill him.”
“Well where is Bob?”
“He moved to Canada.”
“Well its summer isn’t it?”
“Ya, so what?”
“Let’s go hunt down Bob, well take my car.” Joe and Fred got in Joe’s new car and went to hunt down Bob in the Rocky Mountains of Canada. Unaware that the abominable snowman lives there, with recent sightings of Big Foot. They get out of the subdivision, pull out and head on their way. They got about two miles until Joe hit another car. He called Mario and he picked him up. They went to his work and Luigi fixed the car. Mario asked
“Where you boys headed?”
“Where going to Canada to hunt down Bob.”
“Well me and Luigi have nothing to do, could we ah come to?”
“I don’t see why not.”
Joe, Fred, Mario, and Luigi all went to the Rocky Mountains in Canada to hunt down Bob.





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