I'm... | Teen Ink

I'm...

May 22, 2012
By Anonymous

Are you... pregnant?" Mom asks, looking at me apprehensively. Yesterday was my last day of school as a sophomore. It’s been a bad year. When I don’t answer her, she comes up behind me. I am sitting at the island in our kitchen. “Honey,” Mom asks again, “are you pregnant?” I don’t look at her, but I hop off my stool and go upstairs to my room. Once in the safety of my room, I grab my cell phone and sit in my window seat. I dial my boyfriend’s number. “Hey,” his voice fills my ear. This is not how I planned to spend the first Saturdayay of summer. “You’ve got Luke’s number. You know what to do. Bye.” I hang up the phone before it beeps. I don’t know what to do. I hear my mom downstairs. I go to the top of the stairs and silently lean over the balcony so I can see the kitchen. She’s cleaning the kitchen. I tiptoe downstairs. “Mom?” I ask. She looks up. “I… um, I’m not sure if I’m pregnant.” She looks at me for another second, then says “Well. You’d better figure it out then.” I look at her in disbelief. I’m only 16. I’m about to turn around and go back upstairs when mom says “Ashley, we need to go shopping. You need to practice driving, so we’re taking your car.” Mom walks down the hall into her bedroom. I run upstairs and grab my phone, shoving it into my purse as I pull my keys out. I go outside, and unlock my ’63 VW bug. I bought it the day I got my permit. It runs great, which surprised my parents. I love my car. I get in and start the engine. My mom gets in and says “Have you talked to your dad lately?” I concentrate on pulling out of the driveway, then say “I called him yesterday, but Macy answered the phone. She said he was already asleep. It was like midnight though.” Macy was my dad’s stepdaughter. She was only 10, and she and I got along surprisingly well. His wife, Serena, was pregnant. My mom didn’t say anything, so we drive the rest of the way in silence. Once we get to Target, my mom and I go our separate ways in the store. The lady in the pharmacy section gives me a look of pity as I paid for my stuff. I pretend to ignore her, as I smile and say “Thanks!” and then walk into the bathroom. I really have to pee. I go into a stall and shut the door. A couple minutes later, I walk out and set the pregnancy test on the sink as I wash my hands. I go back into the stall so nobody will see, and I looked at the test. It’s positive. I slide it into my purse, as I grab my bags and walk out of the bathroom. I see mom at the checkout so I go outside and head toward my car. I am trying not to cry. We put mom’s bags in the trunk, and she opens her door I stop her. She looks at the seat and sees the little pink plus sign. She looks at me with tears in her eyes and says “When, Ashley? When did you get pregnant?” I look at her, starting to cry myself, and reply “3 months ago to the day. February 25th.” She wipes her eyes and says “Lucy is coming to pick me up in an hour because we’re going out for girl’s night.” I drive her home, help her unload her bags, and get back in the car. “I’m going to the mall with Luke,” I say. I carefully put the test back into the passenger seat. I drive to Luke’s, trying not to cry. I call him when I get there and say “Come outside. We’re going to the mall.”
I see his front door open as he runs outside. He opens the door of my car, and is about to climb in when he sees the little white stick. He carefully picks it up and sits down. I lean over and shut his door before pulling away from the curb. “Ashley,” He says, carefully, tenderly, “Where did this come from? You can’t be pregnant, baby.” I pull onto the highway, and drive in silence. The tears are falling down my cheeks. I grab the test and throw it in the trash bag I keep in my car. Once we arrive at the mall, I pull into the parking lot and turn the car off. I grab my purse and wipe my cheeks. Luke comes around to my side of the car and hugs me. “It’ll be okay, baby. I promise.” I want to believe him, so I do. We walk inside holding hands, and the first thing I notice is an older pregnant woman walking into Baby Land, one of the many baby stores. I look at Luke, and turn around to face him. I hug him, and whisper “I’m keeping the baby. I can’t give it up for adoption. I’m not strong enough.” He wraps his arms tighter and says “Baby, I know.” And we turn around and walk back out to the parking lot.


The author's comments:
I wrote this forever ago. I hope that people understand what I'm putting into it. Even though it's not my life, I'm putting as much feeling as I can into it, making it more realistic.

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