Chick Filet Mystery

May 13, 2008
By Nick Marcos, Buckeye, AZ

One day in the lunch room there was a huge line for chick filet. There was only one chick filet left and a kid named David Garcia was the first person in line at the chicken coop for “B” lunch. David was a very skilled con artist and thief. He decided he was going to steal the chick filet because he had no money left in his account. As soon as the lady handed David the sandwich he shoved it down his pants and walked away without raising any suspicion. David also had a girlfriend named Clarissa who was his partner in crime. David and Clarissa stole everything together.

David sat down at the lunch table next to his girlfriend Clarissa and split the sandwich in two. He handed on half to Clarissa and the started eating. As soon as David took the first bite he noticed a large lady running toward him. It was the lunch lady who had given him the chick filet. David knew that she knew that he stole the chick filet so he grabbed Clarissa by the hand and they started sprinting to the A wing bathrooms. David turned the corner into the A wing and saw the lunch lady right behind him in hot pursuit.

When David and Clarissa arrived at the bathroom David kicked the door open and ran into one of the stalls. Seconds later the lunch lady kicked the door in and started pounding on the stall doors. David jumped out of the stall and put the lady in a sleeper hold until she passed out then him and Clarissa escaped and ran to Mr. Carney’s class room. The only person in there was Mr. Carney so they thought they were safe and they continued eating. Right before the bell was about to ring for lunch to end the lunch lady turned the corner and spotted David and Clarissa. She threw a large literature book at them and started walking towards them.

All of the sudden Mr. Carney stood up and stopped the lunch lady dead in her tracks. He threw a punch at her and landed it square in her nose. She immediately started bleeding and crying at the same time. Then David jumped on her back and started choking her. Mr. Carney saw the opportunity to get some body shots in so he started swinging away at her stomach and chest. The lunch lady was very fat and old so her body couldn’t take the beating and she started throwing up all over Mr. Carney. This made him very mad so he took out his wooden sword and chopped off both of the lunch lady’s hands.

By now the lunch lady was crying and she couldn’t move so they had to hide her body. They decided to chop her body up into little pieces and shove it down the drain. They took the chopped up pieces of the lunch lady’s body and flushed them down the toilet so nobody would ever find out, but when the three of them were leaving the bathroom about seven lunch ladies pushed the door open and trapped David, Mr. Carney, and Clarissa inside. They knew they were going to have to kill all the lunch ladies and flush their bodies down the toiled too.

Mr. Carney had the sword still so he started doing the helicopter maneuver and cut off all the lunch ladies’ heads. David and Clarissa were both still very hungry so they just started eating the heads of the lunch ladies. Then they ran away as fast as they could and hid in Mr. Carney’s car thinking up a plan so they wouldn’t get caught.

The next day when David came to school he saw that Clarissa wasn’t there so he was pretty worried. David had English with Mr. Carney for his third hour, but when he arrived in Mr. Carney’s class room he noticed that there was a substitute. David was so scared that somebody had found out about what happened the day before and got Clarissa and Mr. Carney arrested. At the end of the day David was walking to the wrestling room to go to wrestling practice and he noticed Mr. Carney’s car in the parking lot. David was curious and walked over to the driver’s side window. There was nobody in the car and David decided to open the door. It was unlocked so he clicked the button to pop open the trunk.

As soon as the trunk opened there was a terrible stench that seeped out. David went around to the back of the car and saw Mr. Carney and Clarissa’s dead bodies just sitting there. There was a police car that pulled up next to the car as soon as David saw the bodies. The police officer jumped out of the car and slapped some handcuffs on David.
“No wait. I didn’t do this!” said David.
“Sure” said the officer.
“Really! You have to believe me.” David screamed
“Ok wise guy” the officer said.

As David was driving away in the police car he saw Mr. Huffman smiling at him through the window. As David was getting driven back to the police station he started crying and he peed his pants a little bit. The officer pulled out a tazer gun and tazed David and he passed out. When David woke up he was sitting in a chair in a room with no windows and nothing on the walls but a desk in the middle of the room. Seconds later the police officer walked in and sat down in the chair on the other side of the desk.

David pleaded the officer to let him go, but the officer said that he wouldn’t be able to do that because he had cold hard evidence that David killed all the lunch ladies and then killed Clarissa and Mr. Carney to cover everything up. David asked what evidence he had and the officer threw a chick filet rapper in David’s face.
“That’s what evidence I have!” The officer yelled.
“Oh” David said.
“Book him boys!” said the officer.

Two police officers drug David into a jail cell while he was kicking and screaming, and crying.

That night David was sitting in his jail cell and crying when Mr. Huffman came to visit him. Mr. Huffman told him that he had the answers to all his questions but that he was dyeing of a special disease and he didn’t have much time to tell him. As soon as Mr. Huffman opened his lips to start talking a gasp of air came out and he died right then and there.

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