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No matter how much you think you know someone, no matter how close you are to someone, and no matter how much you love someone -- they will never think twice about leaving you, but what's funny is everyone in my entire life has left me the same way. Well, that I've gotten close to. People don't realize what they have until they have nothing at all but they're just too broken to really care. So, you're either selfish or a lost cause . Like what Ernest Hemingway said, "The world breaks everyone, and afterwards many are strong in broken places."
There has been people that have walked out of my life. Don't get me wrong, I've walked out of people's lives too. Some was for the better and some just didn't really help the situation at all. It just made me mop over them even more but after a while, I guess I get immune to the pain. No matter how much you want a person to stay, you can't force them. What can you do when the other person has nothing to do with you and has moved on with their life without you?
"It's okay. You deserve someone better, anyway." said, my friend, Sarah.
"I know but I can't help to think how wrong he treated me." I sobbed.
"You still have your friends, like me. If there is guy that hurts you, I will always be there for you."
That day I had just broken up with my boyfriend and we've been together for more than a year or so. I felt very weak and I talked everything out with Sarah. I told her all the good things about him and all the bad things. Of course, the bad things overshadowed the good but still, I knew it will take me some time to get over him. I was thankful that I had her there to cheer me up.
"He treated me so badly. It was always his way and he never took my feelings into consideration. I still can't get over him."
"He's a jerk. You can't force yourself to get over someone, especially when you've been with them for that long."
I haven't heard from Sarah in two weeks. People have been coming up to me and telling me that she's been talking to my ex-boyfriend and they liked each other. I didn't want to jump to conclusions so I called her and asked about it.
"So, what's up with you and my ex-boyfriend?" I asked out of randomness.
"I know I promised you that I will always be there for you, but I think we should just forget about our friendship because I choose him and not you."
I can feel my heart shattering into a thousand pieces. I closed my eyes, opened my mouth, but no words seemed to come out. I was speechless.
"If that's what you want then I can't do anything about it. I can't believe you put some jerk between our friendship. You know I still have feelings for him and yet, you didn't even put my feelings into consideration. I put so much effort into our friendship and in the end, I'm left with nothing but heartache because of this."
I quickly hung up the phone before she could have said anything else. I didn't want to hear anymore. I was done and we are no longer friends.
It's not the fact that I still liked him and I can't stand seeing him with another girl that made me get upset. It's the fact that she said she was going to be there for me but instead, she chose to walk out of my life as if it was no big deal. It's not him that hurt me the most; it was her. We could have still been friends.
Just like I can't force myself to stop liking someone, I can't force someone else to stop liking someone, either. There was nothing I could do to fix it and all I can do is walk by them and act like we're totally strangers.
This experience made me wonder if words were more powerful or actions. Actions can break my bones and give me bruises, but words that flow from someone's mouth can kill just as bad as a sword.