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Flashbacks

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Heart racing, blood rushing to face, why this brought me pleasure I don’t know. But when I get those flashbacks it’s the only place I want to go. I sit and can’t fathom that it’s been years, but your simple words give me hope. I push back the tears and get through the day, knowing that within a few months you will be thousands of miles away. Your still not the person I hoped you’d become, but God sends me those dreams when I’m sound asleep for reasons no one knows. I know your scared too, you don’t have to be so tough, I hope you think of me when bullets are moving past you in the dessert dust.

As my dreams get tangled up in reality, I know that the time has come when I have to move on. You’re already on your way and I’m still stuck in reverse as my future brings me nothing but pain. I sit here and I try to write what I feel, but my words get jumbled up and don’t sound too clear. Back then I didn’t know it would end up this way, all I knew was that my happiness would soon be ruined by rain. You say you’re not scared, and I want to ask you why, with your uniform hanging up all pressed and ready to go. You’re going to a place that you don’t even know of, hoping you’ll come out suffice. If you return I’ll still be here ready to give you back your old life. You don’t have to lie to me, I know you better than you think, You know what you’re doing is right, but wish you could have had a better shot of making something out of yourself. You know your talents, and I know them too, but no one ever gave you a chance to show how you could’ve came through.

Your courage to do what’s right has made me keep following you’re way, just remember I’ll always be your friend, even when you wish I’d stay away. When you’re gone your only in God’s hands, no one to protect you but Him. It’s weird to think that when I first saw you that day, I felt in my heart that you were going to be in my life to stay. Searching for the answers, wondering why it all came down to this. But you have been giving your orders, the sheets are signed and there is nothing you can say, you gave them your word, and now their sending you away. Every night when you hang you’re uniform to dry, just know that I thank you for serving our country, when you know there is a chance you could die. Maybe my words are better left unsaid, I think about it every night as I’m starring at my ceiling from my bed. You’re family and friends are so proud, and I am too. But I just can’t help those flashbacks making me wish there was something I could do to make you stay, here and safe. Those flashbacks bringing me back to where I once was, and will never be again. But those flashbacks make me grateful for those moments I got to spend. I pray the best for you, and hope you can find God’s path too, when you’re out there and feel so alone, I promise he can make you feel like your back at home.





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