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The Time Travelers' Last Words: A Dialogue

On December 6th, 1965, a bizarre machine was found off the coast of California. About the size of a family sedan bearing technology hundreds of years more advanced than at the time of discovery and holding the remains of a young man and woman in strange clothes, it was dubbed “The Time Machine of the West.” What you are about to read now are the recordings found in the vessel’s audio recording system.
(Male voice) “You’re being difficult.”

(Female Voice) “I don’t want to do this! We could die!”

“But we have to!”

“That doesn’t make me want to go!”

“Just suck it up and get in the machine. We’ll be fine, I promise.”

“I hate you so much right now, you know that?” (Shuffling noises, clicks)

“I’m well aware.”

“You better be.” (Sound of a metal door banging closed)

“Ready?” (Sound similar to a seat belt clicking, more shuffling noises)

“Just pull the lever already.”

“Ok, here we go.” (Gears clicking, whirring noise begins)

“Holy (expletive)!”

“Hold on, I’m going to raise the speed.” (Whirring noise rises in pitch)

“Wow.”

“What?”

“Just look out the window! I had no ideas there were so many trees here in the past!”

“Do you see that building? Wow, the architecture back then sucked.”

“Uh, Darryl?”

“What?”
“That red light shouldn’t be blinking.” (Beeping noise can now be heard)

“Oh.”

“What? ‘Oh’ what?!”

“No, no, no, no. Oh god.” (Grinding noise) “Our anchor’s loose. Our location’s gonna change.”

“What are you gonna do? We can’t stop it now!”

“Exactly! We can’t do a damn thing! All we can do is hope for the best now…” (More grinding noises, clicks)

“Jesus, we’re gonna die. We have to stop, right now!”

“We can’t, we’d end up in the middle of the ocean!”
“Where are we? WHEN are we?”
“Um, around California, I think. The dial says 1970.”
“Stop this damn thing right now, or so help me…”
“Doing it. I’m stopping it.” (Gears clicking, whirring sound lowering in pitch)
“…..”
“Ok, March 1965, February, January, December 1964, November… October… September… We’ve nearly stopped…” (Whirring sound lowers, ends) “And… August 14, 1964. We’ve come to a halt.”
“Oh no.”
“What?”
“ All I can see is water!” (muffled splashing noise from outside)
“Calm down, calm down! I’ll start it up again!” (Beeps, sound of gears shifting, then grinding)
“Nothing’s happening, WHY IS NOTHING HAPPENING?!”
“I don’t know!”
“The machine’s filling with water!”
“NO!” (Clanging, shuffling, sound of buttons being hit hysterically, more grinding gears)
“Stop, you’re breaking the lever!” (Sound of something breaking, enraged/terrified scream)
(Thumping sound) “We’re going to die.”
“WE CAN’T DIE!”
(Sobbing) “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. Forgive me.”
(In hysterics) “NO! WE CAN’T DIE! DO SOMETHING! DO SOMETHING RIGHT NOW!” (Banging noises, sobs)
“I can’t. All the controls are under lockdown. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, I can’t do anything.”
(Splashing noises now inside the machine, more sobbing, followed by a few minutes of silence)
“I’m sorry.”
“No more apologies.”
(Ten minutes of silence, followed by a buzzing noise and the end of the audio file.)
This audio file is considered to be proof that backwards time travel is eventually possible, though many believe it to be a hoax. We’ll find out if it’s real or not sooner or later….or not at all.





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