True Strength

January 25, 2008
“True Strength is being able to hold it all together when everyone else is expecting you to fall apart.” She told me and walked away. Well, Screw it. Who even cares anymore? Not me, that’s for sure. I’m sure later I would regret letting myself go and end up hating myself for it, but right now I couldn’t care less. I didn’t care if she knew she had broken my heart or if she knew I would never get over our friendship. Couldn’t care less. I actually kind of wanted her to know how much she hurt me.

I felt my body easing to the hard concrete ground. I sat down in the middle of the universe, it felt like. I felt a tear forming in the corner of my eye, but I didn’t wipe it away. I wanted the tears to come; I wanted sadness to overcome me. For me, it was the right thing to do. It felt good. Several more tears ran down my lightly tanned cheeks. I swiped some hair from my face. I leaned up against my school’s outside walls. I knew I should stop crying. All sorts of people could see me crying to my heart’s content, but I couldn’t stop myself. I didn’t want to stop. I saw people give me weird looks. Sympathetic looks, as if they wanted to come sit with me but they didn’t. Pathetic looks, looking down on me, as if I were the most pathetic thing in the world. I wasn’t the most pathetic thing though, I wasn’t like that at all. I had gotten my heart crushed, just like any other person. I just chose to express my feelings in public, for my fellow students to see. I sat there for awhile, just crying. Crying until I had nothing left in me. I was never one to cry, but today that wasn’t the case.

Through my tears I saw faded yellow buses driving off in the distances, along with my heart.

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