Dear Mister Spider

April 3, 2012
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Dear Mister Spider hiding in my bathroom,

I appreciate you guarding my toilet paper from harm’s way and the ne'er-do-wells who may and try to harm it, I truly do. But it’s time for you to move on and be free. I can’t expect you to spend your life sitting in my bathroom and creeping on me while there is a whole new world (no I am not quoting Aladdin) out there just waiting to be explored by you. And frankly, I’m out of toilet paper and Mom won’t share.
Really Has to Pee

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