Nighttime falls and I can't stop thinking about the events that happened earlier. Pulling weeds was my punishment for going out on Saturday. Sunday I didn't start until late in the afternoon and that certain someone I talk to practically everyday decided to relive a bet/dare. It turned out to be something way more than a bet/dare. On Sunday after Rick left, we got down the buisness. We started out replaying our game of "nervous". Yes, nervous, I know what you are thinking, "What?!? Is she crazy enough to actually play this with Marcus?" Well yes, yes I was crazy enough and I don't care what you say or think because I loved it. But back to the main story, I didn't know at all how it was going to go because I had never done any of the stuff we did except for what I saw in movies and on TV and stuff. But in any way, shape, or form, I was ready for whatever he threw my way. I wanted to please Marcus is really why I did it and because I knew something important was there that needed to be dug up. Marcus thought we were going to do a little deal we had set up for the next Saturday but I decided not to because I would be to scared. I also would feel like a sl*t and it wouldn't be very fun on my part. I asked if we could do it after we each had out next girlfriend/boyfriend. Let me just say, it didn't stay that way for a while. I felt bad and said we could try something when we were pulling weeds but it would have to be something I was comfortable with. We started out the game on the side of a planter bed and that was a little tough and no really easy access for Marcus. We moved over to a near by ladder and I sat on it and he stood in front of me between my legs and he started inching up my legs and my chest near my breasts. At the time I was scared shitless but now that I think back, I really miss it. Anyways we did that and he started rubbing me with his hands like on my thighs and arms because I was cold. We did this for some long amount of time and then I broke down a little bit and kissed his nose. Marcus said "That's my nose. You kissed it." I said "I know I did." We ended up kissing on the lips. Yes my first kiss! I loved it and now I can't get enough. We made out twice that day. Let's just say that was the best day of my life because I had a milestone covered that I wanted. We had to go inside at 5 because that it when Abby came home. Monday came and I helped Marcus with the weeds again and we made out a little more and we did that until Tuesday I think. Now we say we love eachother. I know he does and he knows I do. I can tell by the way he looks at me and the way he says he wants me. ALL OF ME! I don't know why I love him the way I do. It's not fool love because I know how that feels. The thing that I really hate is that we can't really be together because of the other people. If it was just Marcus and I then I would be one of the happiest people on earth. No joke! A few weeks passed by and then again on a Sunday we watched a movie and played Rockband, best freaking game EVER!!, and I had a great time. We kissed and made out a few times and it was nice. We cuddled on my bed while we took a break between sets. Marcus is one of the best guys I have ever been around. One of the songs on Rockband, the practice disk, was "Dirty Little Secret" by "The All American Rejects" and it is one of my favorite songs. We made it our song since we have to keep our relationship a secret. The thing I hate though is that Marcus has to be an *ss to be when we are around other people so it looks like nothing is going on and so he can keep up his reputation. Anyways last night he called me into his room twice. Once to get a hat for my sister that she wanted and then the second time to hold me. I almost cried because it is getting to the point sometimes where I just want to cry because I can't show my love for someone. We kissed a few times and he tried to hold me but I had to go to bed because my sister was coming home from work. I really do love him and it gets more intense each time we do it.
March 23, 2012