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Pulled The Trigger
Everyone asks me why I pulled the trigger, I tell them because he is an a*s. They asked me if I loved him, I said no. They asked if I loved him like a dad, I said not even close to a father.
David had been fighting with mom for the last few day. David thinks that I should be put up for adoption because, I am a stuck up no-good daughter who doesn’t respect him. Well, he is right.....I don’t respect him but I don’t see what the big deal is. Mom argues that I am a perfect child and she wouldn’t. That is the first time I didn’t actually see David strike her.
It all started on Wednesday when I came home from school. David was sitting on the couch-beer in hand staring at her smiling.
“You know Jasmine, she had it coming, that is what she gets for not listening to me.” I was speechless, what could she have done to make him so mad? He turned his head slowly and smiled the biggest creepiest smile I had ever seen. To me he kinda looked like one of those clowns in scary movies.
He got up and walked away, he passed by me hand swiping over my face. He knew, I knew that if he ever laid a hand on me I would call the cops. I knew that he didn’t want to go back to jail.
I rush over no knowing what to do if I call the cops they will think that I am lying.....I mean 3 times this week isn’t that bad. my hands are trembling, finally I see her twitch after the longest time now I know that she is alive.
“Mom, get up. Come on.” Immediately I saw her eyes flutter open. I wish that I could just kick his a*s and see how he feels about being the underdog. He thinks that he is all MACHO because he can hurt someone, make her swear not to tell anyone, than threaten her that if either of us ran away he would hunt us down and brutally murder us. Whatever he can't do that to me, maybe to my mom but not to me.
“J-J-Jasmine......all I remember is him pulling a knife off the counter and running after me.” She says this peaceful and tranquil. All that was running through my mind was why would you be so calm about this, I mean if it were me in this situation I would have gotten something to defend myself instead of just standing there.
I ran to my room, mind not processing all of this drama.Ii recall the last time I went to get my gun, it actually wasn't that long ago. But this time I wouldn't just stand there resisting to shoot him.
I retrieved it from its hiding place, ran around the house, twice, then finally realized that he is out in “his shed” drinking more beer. I paced slowly to the shed afraid of what was going to happen. stupidly I kick the door open, I look around then out of nowhere I get attacked, I force my finger to slide over the trigger. The next thing I know I am covered in blood, my mom is running out of the house screaming, and I all I could do was smile.When I looked at my blouse it was engulfed with blood. I felt evil and warm inside....it felt good.
I finally did it after 3 years of watching my mom be battered in such ways was horrific to watch. I don't dare look at my mom knowing that she would have one of those...scared, horrific, judgemental faces on. But my conscious said that it was the right thing to do.
Stupid conscious, that was the scariest face my mom had ever made. All I could do was stare blankly into that face.
“I don’t know why I did it.......I guess I was tired of him treating you horribly.”
“What you did was wrong. I don’t know what I am going to do with you...it’s either you or me going to jail. You’re only 11-”
“Mom, it’s my fault i’ll take ALL the blame. Before I could say anything to comfort her, she burst into tears. I didn’t know what to do I didn’t want to be put up for adoption.