Never Ride Your Bike to School on Friday

January 22, 2008
By Stacia Martineau, Shoreline, WA

Now, I know this is going to sound crazy to you, but I swear it’s the truth. We’re not alone in this universe, I can prove it, just listen to me, just for a minute, that’s all I need. Please, just sit down and hear me out.
Friday morning at around 7:20 a.m. I left my house on my bike to go to school. It was sunny, about 82°F and there was almost no activity on the roads. Then, at about 7:35 when I had probably gone about a mile and a half away from my house a truck zoomed right past me on the road. It almost ran me over! But that’s not even the half of it, as I watched it drive away I noticed that it didn’t make that sound that normal cars do when they drive along the street, but rather like an artificial sound, like something from a badly filmed movie or something. Also, it didn’t have a license plate. It had a spot for it, but there was nothing there, there was just a plain white sheet of metal. I disregarded it, seeing as I was too busy swearing at the driver, whoever he was.
So then I got back on my bike and not a minute later another truck turned right next to me just as I was turning the corner to go up the hill to school. Well, it was quite a ways ahead of me now and I was still trying to get my bike steady again. I kept thinking of how late I was going to be, and, well, I couldn’t have been more right about it.
I ran into something on the road. Thank god there were no other cars around at that time, otherwise that would have been the end of it. From what I can remember, it felt as though my bike stopped but I kept going. I ended up with a scratch on my cheek and a bloody knee and other numerous scrapes and bruises on my arms, legs, face, pretty much everywhere you can think of. So then after I got up I went back for my bike and saw what had stopped it. It was no more than a simple cardboard box in the middle of the road, totally unharmed, a cardboard box. It was cardboard for crying out loud! Totally unharmed! My bike on the other had looked as though it had been hit by a train, taken to the junk yard, picked up by some abstract sculptor, and then been adorned with bits of metal pipes. Well, you can only imagine how I reacted. My bike was busted, I was bloody, and all because of some good for nothing box in the middle of the road. I kicked it. It didn’t look that hard, I mean, it was just a plain cardboard box like the ones you get computers in, right?
Turns out that kicking the god forsaken thing was probably one of the worst things I could have done in that situation. Take a guess at what happened. Just try and guess. Not only did I stub my toe, but something shook it, not moved inside of it, but actually shook the box, like, made it move, significantly. I was so freaked out it wasn’t even funny. Next thing I know the box flies opens and there’s a flash of bright light. Now I kept thinking ‘Oh s***, oh s***, oh s***…’ Yah, not fun. Anyway, after my eyes had gotten readjusted to the normal morning light I noticed that my bike was gone, the box was gone, and it had all been replaced by a miserable patch grass and a small bright white egg thing.
I really did want to leave it there, I really did, I swear, but something, I don’t know what, made me want to reach down and carefully cradle it and like protect it. It was really creepy, but, hey, who am I to argue with supernatural forces telling me what to do. I took it, but instead of cradling and protecting it I stuffed it in between my gym clothes in my backpack. I figured, why not, it’s not like I have a bike to crash again. Now I thought about going home, but then I thought about the one and a half mile walk back compared to just walking the quarter mile to school and then getting picked up from there.
So I got to school, fifteen minutes late, about 8:05, but I missed first period and half of second period anyways because the nurse decided to clean me up, call my mom, dad, doctor, pretty much everyone in the entire world. It was really annoying. So when finally got to science all bandaged and bruised everyone looked at me funny and after class my friends asked me if I'd been hit by a car on my way to school. I said yes, not wanting everyone to know that my bike had been defeated by some measly cardboard box. I mean, how embarrassing is that? Anyway, after that I walked to third period, trying my hardest to avoid people, trying to avoid being stared at. You see, I’m a freshman and the last thing I want to do is be remembered as the girl who got hit by a car.
Anyhow, while I was walking all by my lonesome on the edge of campus towards the theatre…yes…my English class is in the theatre, at least for this week, we’re studying Shakespeare. But as I was saying, I was on my way to the theatre when a vibrating came from inside my backpack. Now, my first thought was that it was my cell phone, but then I remembered that I had turned it off before school started and put it in my pocket. Then I remembered the egg, but I couldn’t afford to be late to another class that day, so I just kept on walking as though nothing was happening.
Eventually the vibrating got so bad that it actually made me stumble and I almost fell, in the mud. So I took off my backpack and opened it up. It was a mess. Papers had been torn and there were even holes in my lunch bag. I remember that there was like this yellowish goo leaking out of it, and now that I think about it, it was probably the remains of my banana. Poor banana. Sorry, where was I? Oh yah, so I dug around in my backpack for the egg but I couldn’t find it anywhere. The vibrating had stopped so I got back up and checked my watch. It was about 9:58 a.m. and class started at 10:00. That was when I realized that I was only halfway to the theatre.
I don’t think I’ve ever run so fast in my life. I practically crashed into the theatre just as the bell rang, which wasn’t helped by the fact that I was covered in bandages and still bleeding in some spots. I walked quietly to one of the seats, put my bag down, and looked up at the teacher. She didn’t seem too happy. Then again, she never seems happy. So after I put my head down she started to choose people to come up and read different parts. Guess what she cast me as, just guess, just try and guess. I dare you. A tree. She cast me as a tree. There weren’t enough reading parts so while all the others who didn’t have parts got to sit down I got cast as a tree because she thought it was important to the scene. Yah right. But anyway, why am I telling you this, it’s not like it relevant to my case or anything.
Well, actually, it sort of is I guess, because at about 10:30 or so, in the middle of a dramatic scene a high-pitched sort of sound just filled the theatre. Just filled it, you couldn’t hear anything. It was kind of cool and scary at the same time, but mostly just scary. At that point I didn’t have a doubt in my mind what it was. I thought about going down to my seat and trying to find the egg, but I’m glad I didn’t because the next second it exploded. My backpack, my lunch, the seat, other people’s backpacks, other people’s lunches, other seats, everything in the vicinity of my backpack was blown to smithereens! Now at that point in time I wasn’t really concerned about hating my teacher as much as I was concerned about her hating me even more, if that’s even possible. I’m so not looking forward to Monday.
Yah, I don’t think that I’m going to go to school Monday, because, you see, after the explosion happened a little fluff ball came out of the dust and debris. Have you ever played Chuzzles before? No? That’s a shame, because that’s exactly what this thing looked like, a chuzzle. It just hopped off and out of the theatre like some fuzzy bouncy ball and went as though it had just, I don’t know, as though it had just like, like gotten out of bed or something and was totally refreshed or whatever. It, was an experience, to say the least.
See, I told you I had proof. I’m not kidding, this really happened. Even check out the theatre at my school right now, I dare you. Check it out, the hole’s there and everything, I swear it. And now, if you don’t mind, it’s Saturday and I have to go get a new backpack.

The End

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