Radioactive Cow Who?

January 21, 2008
By Haleigh Timmers, Lowell, MI

If cows could think in English, the cow was probably thinking, I wonder what that glowing green stuff is, but since they can’t, then we’ll never know what was going through the cow’s head as it decided to eat the radioactive seaweed. We also cannot know what it was thinking as it grew bigger and bigger and bigger. Until it was so huge that when it walked, houses fell from the tremors.
On a nearby farm, Paula was milking her cows and humming quietly to herself when she felt the ground quiver. Running from the barn and into the bright July sunlight, she looked toward the sky and saw the colossal cow coming towards her farm.
After three steps, the cow had reached her farm. “David!” She screamed as she ran to find him. Her parents were gone with her siblings, and she and David had stayed behind to tend to the farm.
David, being a farmer-boy himself, was not only a good helper on the farm, but was also a great companion for Paula.
“What?” He questioned as he came out of the barn shielding his eyes from the sun. When he looked up he almost fell over backwards. “What is that?”
“A giant cow, duh. How are we gonna stop it?”
“I have an idea,” David ran into the barn and grabbed large coil of rope. “We’ll hog-tie it.”
“Good luck with that,” Paula said as she grabbed the other end of the rope. The teens ran at the cow and tripped it.
“Nice,” Davie yelled as he climbed onto the cow and tied its legs together. Paula met him on top to help him with the knots. David was not very good at tying ropes. He had never been a very good boy scout.
As they were finishing, the cow began to roll onto its side. David jumped off as Paula hung onto the rope for dear life.
“Jump,” he commanded.
“No, way.” She held onto the rope tighter as the cow rolled onto its side.
“Paula, now,” he urged as he moved out of the cow’s way.
Paula looked at the cow, then the ground, then back at the cow. “Help!” She cried as she let go of the rope. David ran under her to catch her in his arms. Without even setting her down, he ran away from the hazard.
When they were a good distance from the cow, he put her down. “What now?” He questioned while looking at the monstrosity. Immediately after his question, he came up with an idea that made him crack a small smile. Quickly he went into the house and grabbed a stick of TNT. Don’t ask why the Bloughs kept TNT in their house.
After lighting the stick, he threw it at the cow and pulled Paula into the house. Within seconds the house was covered I perfectly cut steaks. David’s plan had worked, and even today, the people of the world are eating radioactive cow.

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