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I watched Teresa through the camera as she delivered her lines. The angle was perfect, of course. This was my ideal vision. I was so lucky to date a beautiful actress. Well, to have dated, technically. We broke up a month ago, but I called her up today because I was just so inspired. She captured wonderfully on film, and spoke so clearly. The camera loved her. Any way she turned, she looked absolutely gorgeous. This was going to be the best movie ever. I moved my camera as Teresa walked across the set to my friend and sat on his lap. She put her arm around him, and flipped her hair over her shoulder. She followed the script so well… And yet, there was something wrong, and I couldn’t put my finger on it. The lights were positioned well, and my camera was brand new and capturing every aspect of the scene. The only thing we were missing was the rain outside the window, but I figured that we can edit it in later. I focused on Teresa again. She was really like heaven on earth. Her acting was so smooth and natural, and yet, something about it made me absolutely depressed.
Just as Teresa leaned in to kiss my friend, I yelled, “Cut!”
I told everyone to take five and asked Teresa if she would like to take a small walk with me. I watched her walk out in front of me, so gracefully, as if every step was part of a script.
When we got outside, I looked around. Immediately, in my mind, I was making mental notes of how the scenery was absolutely wrong. If it were up to me, there would have been two trees across the street, not three. And the sun would be a little higher in the sky. Oh, and what was up with the sky today, anyway? It should be much lighter.
I then turned my attention to Teresa, and commented on her performance. I told her how much the camera loved her.
“Ugh, not this bulls*** again,” she said, rolling her eyes.
“What’d I say?” I asked, raising my eyebrows.
“You know d*** well what I mean. You can’t just keep talking about me like I’m a movie!”
I stared at her blankly. “But we’re filming a movie!”
“Yes, yes, I know that,” her words seemed jumbled, “but that’s how you always talk about me. How many times do I have to tell you? I am a human being! This is why I broke up with you in the first place. You look at the whole world like it’s a movie. You only want things to go your way.”
I felt like I’d just been slapped in the face.
“Just because I love what I do doesn’t mean I look at everything like a movie!” I defended myself.
“Oh come on, Adam. You wanted every word I said to have ‘meaning’! And do you remember our first kiss? You made me stop, move over a little to the left, put my arms around your neck, and then kiss you, because you wanted it to ‘look better’?
I did remember. I felt so bad. But she knew that movie making was what I aimed for. It was the only thing I was actually great at doing. And that in order to do that, I felt that I had to view the world from a camera lens’s point of you.
Teresa sighed and said, “Sometimes, you just need to step away from the camera lens and let life run its course.”
And then she kissed me. And I didn’t even need to direct it.