The Ninja Dream

January 16, 2008
By E. Christopher Malise, Cobbs Creek, VA

I am sitting there thinking of what to write, when suddenly a Ninja jumps through my window and with an English accent says “Cheerio there good chap, I have come to battle with you for the title of most creative in all the land.” “Well”, I say, “If you think that you are going to beat me than you are sadly mistaken. Then I whip out my magical pencil of dreams and start to draw Salami nun-chucks to fight with. Upon completing the nun-chucks the ninja and I engage in an epic, almost biblical, battle to see who really is the most creative. I whack him with the nun-chucks and all their meaty deliciousness, but they have no effect, so I quickly draw out my magical pencil of dreams but the ninja knocks it out of my hand with the sword of environmentally friendly desires. I begin to retreat when he throws a ninja star made out of recycled tires and flip-flops. I run away bleeding profusely, and the ninja is gaining on me. I run faster and faster but the ninja continues to close the gap with the assistance of his Seuss-like Segway, just when I think all hope is lost Vonda K. swoops in on her plane “Chocolate Aspirations” and I jump on board.

As we fly away from the ninja towards her home base of Cornerstone Fellowship I begin to wonder why the ninja was asking me, but little do I know that my time to ponder this question is running out. Just then the plane’s engine begins to stutter as we are running out of bio-fuel, and we begin to plunge down into the Chesapeake Bay. We spiral down, faster and faster and land in the large with a splash, then everything goes black. I wake up and I am the only survivor for Vonda K. was eaten by Swedish Fish. I lay there dizzy and wet, trying to think of a off of the floating carcass of a plane, if only I had my magical pencil of dreams I could draw myself a raft. But then in the distance I see a boat coming towards me and I flag it down. The boat pulls up alongside the wrecked plane and out onto the deck steps Captain John Stevens. “Ahoy there, young lost sailor,” says Stevens. “Ahoy there Captain Stevens,” I say, “Would you mind giving me a lift back to the mainland?” “Of course,” says Captain Stevens. We ride back to Mathews in silence, for I am not able to tell him my heroic tale of ninja and flying chocolate, just yet.

We pull into the dock, and there waiting for me is Moodle Master Casper. “Young adventurer,” says the Moodle Master, “you have a guest waiting for you in the temple.” I walk up to the temple and slide open the paper door, and there stands the ninja. I regrettably prepare to do battle with him, and look around for something to defend myself when just in the nick of time Heather Avery slides in o her snowless snow board. She pulls out her mighty cannon of anorexic movie stars and opens fire on the Anglo-Saxon ninja. The ninja turns, dives through one of the paper doors, and continues running until I cannot see him anymore. I turn to heather to thank her but just as I do I slip and fall. I fall and fall and fall until I think that there is no where left to fall, but then I hit something soft and warm. I feel around to see what it is, I open my eyes, and look around, then I realize that I am finally awake and in my own bed. To my relief it was all just a dream.

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