The Key to Success

January 13, 2008
Throughout your four years of high school, you will learn one thing; procrastination is the key to success. This is one skill that has to be worked at for hours to acquire and only when perfected does it work correctly and effectively. Procrastination is the greatest factor that determines the success of your high school career in the long run. Without it, the student body would be lost, having to learn how to manage their time and due to this management, coming to school well-rested and maybe even energetic, which would be horrific for the teachers who would have to deal with these hyper teens. Clearly the benefits of procrastination balance and even outweigh the disadvantages.

The first slight possibilities of procrastination become apparent within the first week of school in which the teacher assigns you “about me” papers or note cards that have to be filled out, signed, and returned the next day. Over half the student body will forget to do these assignments but the teachers will not care as much, because they know that you still haven’t switched into your school mode from your previous summer one. When the days keep multiplying and the weeks keep adding onto each other is when teachers start to become strict which gives you the best chance for prime procrastination.

Monday. This is the perfect day to start your training. Teachers not only see this day as the first day of the week, but the day where your assignment notebook is clean and ready for cluttering. Your first class happens to be English, which starts out the competition by assigning a three page paper due along with chapters one through seven in your lit book on Thursday. Now for a student well versed in the skills of time management, that would mean half of the paper and chapters that very night. But no, restrain yourself from overachieving! Put the paper and chapters aside and think of the next two days you have to relax and do almost absolutely nothing. Your next class is luckily a study hall, where you can check your email and catch yourself up on some food, sleep, and quality music while staring off into space because even that is better than working on cumbersome homework. After about thirty minutes of doing such, you can (against better judgment) pull out a sheet or two of homework and if you really feel badly about ‘wasting your time’, take a glance at it. Take the rest of your classes in the same stride, writing down your physics test, math quiz, and Spanish paper, but putting them to the other side of your mind.

Finally the last bell rings and you head home. Put your five collective pounds of work onto your desk and take a glance at your assignment notebook. No matter how hard your academically advanced mind wants to you sit down and get to work right away, fight the urge and go into the kitchen. Distract yourself with an assortment of foods that is available in the refrigerator and/or cabinets. Take these snacks downstairs and turn on the TV, heeding to any recorded shows or programs that you missed while at school that your TiVo so kindly kept for you. Watch and eat for a while but then make sure to make a visit to your computer updating your MySpace or Facebook, or whatever kind of social networking page you are currently involved in. Explore that for about an hour while in between chatting with your good friends on the computer’s messaging program.

Sooner or later you should hear the familiar ‘dinner’ call which provokes perked ears and hungry mouths. Go straight to the food source, do not dilly-dally or distract yourself with other things because dinner is an important part of your day and must be tended to. After eating, go back to your room and take a seat on your bed, flipping on the TV once again, letting your food digest, and tell yourself that you will definitely start your homework (no matter what) when the show you are currently watching is over.

After listening to the closing credits and reading each individuals name who contributed to the show there possibly can be, head over to your desk and pick up your assignment notebook. Quickly scan the page for anything marked with an asterisk and the word tomorrow; i.e *tomorrow. If u find nothing then close your assignment notebook and continue with what’s left of your day.

Continue this process for the next day and then comes the ever anticipated Wednesday. Pile the books onto your desk once again and place the biggest clock you can possibly find next to them, for motivational purposes only. Start with the easiest and end with the longest assignment and hardest task. Tackling the English first is always a plus. Those essays should be a breeze, taking a predicted thirty minutes. After you have clattered the life out of your keyboard take a look at your clock. You may gasp because this paper has taken you an alarming two hours! Whatever you do, do not panic. This is all a part of the process. Head on over to your Spanish paper and cram a little for your math quiz. Ignore any calls for dinner, phone, or practice because who has time for those!? Finally, you can almost heed to the heavy eyelids that call for sleep, all you have to do is finish studying for your physics test..or…at least start. At this point so far into the procrastination process, it is best not to look at the clock if you are not used to seeing glaring, red, one digit numbers on it along with the moon outside of your window. No worries, for it is cool to stay up late at your age, especially at a party, or in this case, a study party. *BAM* you slam your book and without further ado jump into bed and set your alarm to go off in the next two hours otherwise you will miss your bus. Forget changing or brushing your teeth, all you care about now is sleep!

Two hours later that deafening noise should pierce your ears and make you wake up very uncomfortably. Still, remember to not panic no matter what you do because the procrastination process is not over yet. There is still the self-loathing for wasting your two days left to do as well as the amazing espresso boosts offered in the school cafeteria in the mornings before class. The next seven hours pass by in a blur. The paper you worked so hard on will be turned in and forgotten about in less than a minute, the pages you read so vigorously withOUT the help of Sparknotes will seem useless when another five chapters is piled on top of them, much to your dismay, your Spanish paper will only be checked for completion rather than content, and finally, you will finish your physics test with a sense of wavering pride. Once you get home again that day, you can finally relax and be a dreary old you in sweat pants and shirt. The next day at school, you are still feeling the adverse effects of your day of procrastination, being tired, cranky, and rarely raising your hand for anything. This is okay! Believe in yourself. Do not give in to those who are trying to change you or trying to make you manage your time wisely. People such as Michelle Tullier who so deviously wrote The Complete Idiot's Guide to Overcoming Procrastination and Bob Griswold who plotted in this same scheme by contributing his book Increase Your Energy + Conquer Procrastination (Super Strength) are against you. These people want you to give into an organized and planned out lifestyle, which gets rid of all the spontaneity and excitement of life that comes with procrastinating. Force and remind yourself constantly that procrastination is the only wild way to live; late nights, crazy espresso’s, cram fests, and bunches of other fun that can’t be experienced by those organized people.

Post a Comment

Be the first to comment on this article!

Site Feedback