Magazine, website & books written by teens since 1989

pain and grief

I sit here alone and quiet, as I wait for this class to end, and I run all the past events through my mind. How had I let myself get this bad? since when has this been going on? as I think about this I wonder if I should just end it, everything, the pain, the torture, all of it! I feel so alone. How can I be this empty in a room so full? I just want to close my eyes and scream as loud as I can. I want to cry over the loss of my being normal. Please, oh please can anyone help? the answer is still and always will be no. Would it make a difference if I screamed? would anyone even look in my direction? would they even hear me? or would they just keep on ignoring me and pretend I'm not there? I know I need to get this out, but isn't there anyone else besides a shrink? is there any other way besides anti psychotics? I wait and of course my mind screams no. I go back to thinking about how easy it would be to start cutting again, I stop I'm mid-thought and realize how much more trouble that would bring me.So instead I suffer, suffer through it all. All the trauma, every tragedy I've been through, been forced to watch, everything flashes before my eyes.It flashes bye as I watch the clock, as I listen to the ticking I wonder what the clock must feel like. Sure we use to keep tI'me, but what does that feel like to the clock? as it very well knows that to keep tI'me is the only reason we use it, or its otherwise useless. As I think about this,slowly and sadly a tear passes. I think this day couldn't drag by any slower. Again I listen to the sad silent ticking and I hear the terrible weeping of the clock. I might as well be a clock on the wall. After all nobody knows my sorrow better than he. And so for the rest of the day we weep, and weep, and weep. We are not alone, for we weep together. Truly no one knows my sorrow better





Post a Comment

Be the first to comment on this article!

bRealTime banner ad on the left side
Site Feedback