Captain Spaghetti and the Meatball Monster

January 10, 2008
By Chelsea Caruso, Westland, MI

It was an average day in the Spaghettiland, the water was boiling and the sauce was simmering. Kids were playing on the spaghetti vines and swimming in the left over sauce from the feast the night before. All the people in the land looked up to one person, Captain Spaghetti. He was tall, strong, and fearless. He had black hair and regularly blue eyes, which turned red when he used his pasta vision. He was unstoppable and the leader of the Spaghettiland. He kept the town safe and happy, except for the interruptions from the very much hated Meatball Monster.

The Meatball Monster was the most evil creature in all of Spaghettiland. He had huge cheeks that resembled the cheeks of a squirrel with 6 walnuts in its mouth. He lived to terrorize the Spaghettian’s and ruin all their fun. Every time the Meatball Monster showed up, he would bring his meatball sidekicks that he never really cared much about because in the end he always ended up getting no sauce or noodles so he ate his meatball sidekicks. The Meatball Monster was short and fat and you could tell all he ate were meatballs because he looked like a giant one. Every time he would stomp into the jungle the Spaghettian’s would laugh to them selves saying “I guess you are what you eat”.

One meatball sidekick that the Meatball Monster never ate was his best friend, more like his only friend, none the less his name was Louis. The two went back to before the Meatball Monster was even a monster. They played together, went to Meatball Land together, and had many sleepovers. They made a promise that one day they would take over the world, and people would look at them as more than just meatballs. From day one Louis stuck by the Meatball Monster’s side no matter how crazy his plans or dangerous his ideas were. They were each others only friends, but they were best friends.

Captain Spaghetti stood in the lookout tower watching the entire town through his binoculars which also doubled as parmesan cheese shakers. Everything looked normal, so Captain Spaghetti decided to play Spaghetti Hero on his Xbox 980. After a while, he dozed off and not much later he was awoken to the sound of a Spaghettian woman’s screams. He jumped up and grabbed his binoculars and saw the Meatball Monster with Louis by his side stomping into the village. He slid down the pole from the tower and ran into the forest.

Captain Spaghetti rushed into the forest to take care of the situation that could have a bad ending. He knew that before he could take out the Meatball Monster he would have to take care of Louis, which wouldn’t be a hard job. Louis ran towards the sauce but suddenly got scared like most meatballs would in a time like this, and froze. Captain Spaghetti shot him with three beams of pasta vision. Left eye, right eye, left eye and Louis was down. Without a word to Louis Captain Spaghetti took off after the Meatball Monster.

Captain Spaghetti and the Meatball Monster were eye to eye in the Spaghetti Jungle. Captain Spaghetti started using his pasta vision to take down the monster before he could steal the town’s sacred sauce. Noodle after noodle shot out of Captain Spaghetti’s eyeballs, wrapping up the Meatball Monster and tying him to a tree. Captain Spaghetti pulled out his cheese shaker and started shaking the cheese on the monster.
“AH! IT BURNS!”, exclaimed the Meatball Monster.
“Your cheese may burn my skin, but it won’t stop me from getting your sauce”
“You will never get this sauce my friend!”
The Meatball Monster got loose and ran out of the forest.

The cheese burned the Meatball Monster’s skin, but it wouldn’t hurt his determination to take over Spaghettiland. Captain Spaghetti and the Meatball Monster met up numerous times, whether it was at the sauce pot, around the noodle bin, or at dinner time, Captain Spaghetti was just too smooth for the Meatball Monster. He stayed away from the town’s sacred sauce and noodles for as long as most Spaghettians can remember.

Little did the Spaghettians know, the Meatball Monster had been busy for the last 26 years applying online at and trying to find a meatball woman desperate enough to have his son who would soon avenge the Spaghettians in the name of his father. Luckily there were many pathetic Meatball women who were ready to settle for anyone who would feed them and the one he chose was Mary the Meatball. They had a relationship, not a very happy one, but none the less through countless tries they conceived a baby meatball. They named him Michael the Meatball. He was their pride and joy. Eventually the Meatball Monster grew quite sick of Mary and her girlish ways, so he attacked her from behind with a can of bread crumbs and ate her for a midnight snack.

The Meatball Monster thought that he had everything ready to take over Spaghettiland and retrieve the sacred noodles and sauce. Michael Meatball Monster Jr. (TRIPLE MJ for short) was ready to accomplish what his father had failed at so many times. They crept into the forest on they’re fat meatball tip toes and suddenly the Meatball Monster felt something on his ankle and then he fell. He had been taken down once again by the Spaghettians and the only person left to get the sacred sauce and noodles was TRIPLE MJ, but he wondered to himself if it was even possible.
“Son I’m stuck and I need you to go out there and get those noodles” said the Meatball Monster short of breath.
“Anything for you dad, you’re my hero” whispered Michael with tears in his eyes.
That day Michael went into the forest and fought Captain Spaghetti with everything he had in him. He left with nothing but bruises and bites taken out of him from the hungry villagers that happened to be up that late. His father was where he had left him, tied down by pasta to the same tree he was stuck on 26 years ago. Although the sacred sauce and noodles were still in Spaghetti land and not in the ever so wanting bellies of the Meatball Monster and his son, the Meatball Monster would not give up on what he wanted and he was closer to his son than ever before. Captain Spaghetti and the Spaghettians lived in peace, enjoying the abundant amounts of sauce and noodles, with very little interruption from giant meatballs, ever again.

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