maybe i was looking for love in all the wrong places. i thought that brandon and i would actually last and been on good terms..he said he loved me. or, atleast i thought he loved me.
i WAS REALLY falling for him.he made me feel like i would never have to worry about another boy plaing me, But i was wrong, im always wrong. another boy comes into my life, playing the role of a real prince charming, get what he only wanted from me and leave. I just need someone to love me. all i asked God for was a good boyfriend. I want someone to share the same love i have for them for me too.God just love watching me break down. This is the third time that this has happened to me. I cry, I cry over and over again trying to figure out what i did wrong.But after all that crying, i realized that it was him that was wrong.I did all i could do, he just never appreciated me for being me.Butits not okay, because the last time this happened. i attempted to kill myself. I was almost dead, the after life was so visible to me,i was a step closer to living the life that i've been praying for. late at night before i go to sleep, I pray. I pray that ii wouldnt have to wake up every morning feeling sad,lost, and misunderstood. sad at being alone but mad at God because im here. most people underestimate life, but i didnt. all i could come up withis that there is no point in living life to its fulliest when you're alone.it just doesnt make any sense.However, I was almost dead. suprisedly, my mother rushed me to the hospital, i tried to prove to my ex-boyfriend that i was no longer crying out for attention, that the crying(out) was over. He just never took me seriously.