Optimism

By
Hallo Rebecca,

It is awkward for me to write to you since it has been nearly fifteen years since we have last spoken to each other. But dearest do you remember the times? Do you remember those star-filled nights? Do you remember our talks of revolution?

My dearest Rebecca, I truly must ask you about that last question. Do you remember our talks of revolution? Do you remember the tyranny of which we belligerently opposed? Do you remember how this dream fueled our previous love? With all respect I hope you do.

It is time Rebecca! It is the time for my seeds…no…our seed of revolution to be planted! Please Rebecca! Follow me to the new world I wish to create! Join me to make the Austria of 1823 the Austrian year in which the much needed revolution will take place.

Van Buren has lived as Rome’s Nero, but he shall fall as Shakespeare’s Caesar! He shall fall by the hands oh his conspirators, by the hands of the nation which he so cruelly controlled! I place my life on the line for his demise. Now the question I must ask you Rebecca is, will you?

Meet me by our old schoolyard with your reply tomorrow at the sun’s highest hour.

With all hopes,
Lucius

My Lucius, have you not given up on this useless dream? Do you continue to follow this path?
Whatever happens Lucius, I will never forget you. I never have. I thought you forgot me.
And I do remember. I do remember those star-filled skies, where we lay after our passion for each other had reached its end, where you held me with your hand across my bosom, and the smell of sweat upon us both. I still remember the pleasurable pain from when we fused.
But Lucius, you have caused me so much pain! That cold winter day is still fresh in my mind. The sun was at its highest hour, the same time you wish our reunion to be. I held on tight to my Elizabethan coat as the blizzard gusts blew. It was our fifth anniversary as lovers and I was happy.
You were walking out of the wood’s shadows. Your tall figure outlined in the darkness. Your curls began to take shape and every step closer to me you took brought warmth into my heart. As the light shined on your blonde curls and your green eyes shimmered another figure followed. He hid when he was almost 100 yards away from us, but I didn’t care, you held me with your mere presence. Your broad shoulders and strong jaw caught my attention as you stopped in front of me. You towered far above me and I smiled it was like your entire being took mine. But your face was one of mourning and my smile changed.
“Rebecca, I am sorry but there is another,” you said.
“What do you mean?” I said. I grabbed your collar and brought your face down to my level and a tear ran down my face. “What do you mean another?” I yelled.
Silence.
I slapped you across the face with all my might leaving a large, red hand-print on your pale skin.
“Forgive me Rebecca, but I do not love you. I love…” you attempted but I pushed you and made sure I banged your head against the tree.
I ran. I ran into the woods heading for the figure, there had to be another I can harm! I searched and found him behind a pine he tried to run but his trousers caught themselves in a branch.
As I raised my hand, another grabbed it. “Aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!” I yelled with all my being. I looked back only to stare at two green eyes pouring tears slightly masked by disheveled blonde curls.
“Don’t hurt him! Don’t you dare harm Amadeus!” It was you and your face turned red.
I dropped my grip as I dropped my gaze. You released me and I fell with no will left to even live. You stared at me for a few more seconds, but helped your panting “friend” without even a word to me and left. I did not stare at you as you left, but that was it, you were gone.
Now Lucius, I have a chance to meet you again and I will take it.

It is morning, Lucius, and I am walking towards the old schoolyard. I do not know what to feel. Should I feel happy for being able to see you again? Should I feel like I should have my revenge on you for leaving me? I do not know, but what I do know is that I will see you again.
The sun is shining bright and I am wearing a velvet, red dress that is of this new Victorian attire as they call it. It is somewhat warm for an Austrian Fall, but it does not bother me for meeting you is what drives me.
A man is playing Mozart. Yes Lucius I have forgiven him; it was not his fault it was yours. I know he was the Amadeus of which you spoke that cold winter day. Your love inspired his Appassionato and it has become my favorite work.
I am here Lucius, I am in front of the school yard. There seems to be a public execution going on. I will never understand why so many enjoy this. We have surpassed Roman morality; there is no need for such atrocities.
“By the order of the great Van Buren, this man shall be executed,” says the executioner
Humorous that the same would happen to you if you were to be caught.
“Lucius Schätter is accused of treason, and is accused of attempting to take the life of the great Van Buren,” the executioner continues. I turn my head in the direction of the stage, and I see your figure but the bag is placed over your head.
“Let him be! This is all a lie!” I yell as I run toward the stage. I am ripping the dress as I attempt to reach you, to save you. I push the spectators away and knock a child out of its mother’s arms in my hysteria, but it is caught by its sibling. The guards hold me back. I scream and scratch and squirm but they are too strong.
“Behold what shall become of those who challenge the great Van Buren!” says the executioner and he pulls the lever. Your body is falling and my heart falls with you. I am screaming no!
Then an arm grabs me and pulls me on stage. It is Amadeus with a sword in hand.
“My people of Austria rebel; it is I, Amadeus Mozart!” he yells. The people follow their god, the one who has brought them their masterpieces. They hold the guards back while I and Amadeus begin to speak. “Have you decided?” were the words that came out of his mouth.
“Yes.”
“What is it then?”
“I die with the cause, I die with Lucius.”
“As do I.”
He grabs the sword by the handle and I follow. We lay out our wrists and bring down the sword. Our veins are sliced and there is no return. We repeat the process but on the other wrists. I remember your obsession with Rome, Lucius. I am repeating their ritual and I die as they did as I am walking towards you. I fall before I can reach you, I turn my head to Amadeus and he is already dead. The commotion going on is distant. It is another world. And as everything is going into a white haze, I realize what I wanted. I wanted you to allow me to see you one last time. Unfortunately it will not happen.





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