China Town

February 29, 2008
By Jill Woomer, Huntingdon, PA

Brad and Travis are 25, live in a two- bedroom apartment, have no college education and no job. They live in Chesapeake, Virginia and have been best friends since 1st grade. Travis and Brad also have another person that lives in their closet. That would be Dinggo. You see, Brad thinks that Dinggo is an old friend of Travis’ and the same thing with Travis.

But one day when Travis and Brad were watching TV, they got extremely hot. So Brad went into the kitchen to get some ice to put in their bubbling sodas. But when he got there, he saw something so unbelievable that he screamed his lungs out. Dinggo and Travis ran in to the kitchen to see Brad huddled in a tiny ball quivering as if he had just witnessed a murder. Quickly got down on one knee and asked cautiously, “What happened? Are you ok?” Travis noticed a stutter in his answer. “It…it…it’s gone, all g…g…gone,” said Brad. ”What are you talking about,” replied Travis? “Th…th…the ice.” “Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo,” screamed Dinggo!

Travis ran in to the TV room and started to pace around in a circle. “Are you sure there’s no ice in the freezer,” he asked. Then Brad replied,”Yeah. I didn’t se anything accept a couple of bags of hot pockets and hot dogs.” While pacing around the room, Travis noticed that Brad had gotten up off the floor and was heading for the pickup truck. “Well then I guess we have no choice but to go and find some,” said Brad. Then Travis asked, “What about Dinggo?” “Just leave him there, he’ll never know we left,” answered Brad. So Travis locked the door to the house and took off running to get in the car.

While Travis and Brad were traveling along the highway looking for gas stations and other places that sold ice, they were having an argument about places selling ice and how hot it was. “We’re never going to find any ice out here when it’s this hot!” yelled Travis. “There’s got to be a place out here somewhere,” said Brad. All of a sudden they came across an employee of a local gas station carrying bags of ice into a giant freezer. “This is it, Travis,” exclaimed Brad! They pulled in to the parking lot, got out of the car, but by the time they got there, the ice was either completely melted or sold out. Brad told Travis to go into the gas station and ask if they had anymore ice left in the back. When Travis came back he explained that all the ice was already put into the freezer outside. Brad seemed very upset. So the both of them got back into the car, pulled out onto the highway and began another search for their ice.

Along the highway, the guys were getting tired and even thirstier from the heat. Travis was starting to get delusional from all the heat and it was also making both of them angrier at each other.

They had been traveling from place to place trying to get their ice, but it had always been sold out. But after 7 hours of looking for ice, they came across an old beat up Chinese restaurant/drive through. They had no freezer outside but from a distance they could see that the drive through menu had a large picture of a bag of ice on it. So brad hurriedly pulled in to the drive through and started to talk to the Chinese woman in the speaker.

“Hello and welcome to Chinese Wonton. How may I help you,” asked the woman in a Chinese accent? “Um yeah, could I get 1 bag of ice,” asked Brad. “No,” said the Chinese woman. “Why not,” said Brad. “You must buy something else from menu.” “Well then could I get an order of the Wonton Soup?” “No.” “Well how about some fortune cookies?” “No.” “Look lady we’re not in China and I refuse to play your Chinese voodoo mind games!” “No Chinese mind games. Serious order.” “Ok. Now that we have that all cleared up, could I have an order of the Wonton Soup please.” “No.” Brad was getting very frustrated. “That’s it. I swear that I will come in there and beat you up if you say no again!” There was silence for a brief period of time until the Chinese woman said, “” Right then Brad lost his temper, jumped half way out of the window and literally attacked the speaker until its pieces were hanging there and all over the floor. So Travis quickly took the wheel and drove into the parking lot. But Brad was still trying to attack the speaker. They had no choice but to go in and try and get the ice in person.

As they walked in, they could see that the place was almost empty, other than the employees. Travis and Brad went up to the ordering desk and Travis asked, “Excuse me, but can I get one bag of ice?” A Chinese man turned around and answered, “Were you the young man that just destroyed our ordering speaker?” But to avoid getting in trouble with them or possibly the police they lied and said, “No. We just got here.” “I’m sorry, but you have to order something else to get the bag of ice,” stated the Chinese man. “Ok, then could I have an order of your wonton soup and four fortune cookies?” Then Chinese man’s eyes got wide and then he said, “You a big liar. I recognize your voice from broken speaker! You have to speak to Big Chief now.” The Chinese man clapped his hands twice and from the back of the room you could see a figure immerging from the shadows of the greasy kitchen. When the figure got close enough, Travis and Brad were so shocked that their eyes were as wide as a picture frame. The man in the crown and Chinese robe was Dinggo.

Brad and Travis were so confused that they didn’t talk until they heard Dinggo. “Who has summoned me,” questioned Dinggo? The Chinese man replied, “I did sir. You see these two boys have just broken our speaker and now they are trying to order from inside.” Dinggo looked over at the guys and said, “Travis? Brad? What are you guys doing here?” The Chinese man looked confused. “Wait, you know these men sir,” asked the man. “Yup,” answered Dinggo happily. Then Brad answered, “We are trying to get ice for our drinks, but your employees won’t let us have any even after we ordered something else just like they told us to.” “Dong, get these men some ice. Pronto! Sorry about all the trouble guys, “said Dinggo. Then Travis replied, “Hold on for one second here! You mean that after seven hours of looking for and trying to get ice, we could have just asked you and we would have been home right now drinking cold soda?!” “Yeah, that seems about right,” said Dinggo calmly. Then the Chinese employee came out with a cold bag of ice for Travis and Brad. And Travis replied, “Thanks man.” Then Brad asked, “Hey Dinggo, do you want a ride back to the apartment?” “Yeah, that would be great,” said Dinggo!

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