Twinkie's Commercial Madness

February 28, 2008
“Yeah!” screamed Twinkie. “Touchdown Raiders!”

Twinkie could barely fit as he walked through the door. He had spikes of doom for hair and his long sea blue side bangs were hideous. He had two chins and a pig like head. His eyes were small and he had to go to XL to buy his clothes. He was rich too because he broke so many door frames.

Commercial break. Better go obtain my dozen subs from Subway for the week, thought Twinkie.

Twinkie heaved off the crumb stricken violet purple fire hydrant red couch with built in rainbow gloss recliner and walked to the door. It was so tall he had to rip a part of his ceiling off to fit the couch. He traveled through his door frame that was specially made for his side and he accidentally fell off his Steps of Doom that were coated with fire and spikes, and lands in his Garden of Mythical Creatures.

“Owwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!” said Twinkie. Neigh, Neigh. “What the.....?” He looks up and there was the ugly green scale like face and bright yellow eyes of his arch nemesis Godzilla the Unicorn. The Hatred in Godzilla's eyes made Twinkie's blood run cold and his legs turned to fresh cut red jello.

“OMG!” screamed Twinkie and then everything turned to slow motion. Twinkie could feel his heart racing as he jumped with all his might over the unsuspecting Godzilla. His muscles screamed with all the pressure he was putting on them and they let out on him. He fell through the sky and could feel Godzilla's claw like hands gripping him. It was too much for Twinkie, Godzilla's hands were too strong and they were excruciatingly destroying the ribs of his. He could see the blackness swarming in over him and then he saw the light at the end of the tunnel before he ventured into the horrible darkness he heard a squeak and then everything went silent.

Slap! Slap! Slap! Twinkie was tossed around as he was trying to gather his surroundings. Pinky, his pet penguin, was trying to wake him up. Slap! Slap! Slap! Again Twinkie was slapped. This time he was awake.

“Alright, alright I am awake. Stop slapping me Pinky.” He jumped up and leaned on Pinky for support as he waddled to the car.

“So tell me what happened,” said Twinkie to Pinky and Pinky sent Twinkie a mind tell. When Pinky had a bad feeling in his stomach he ran outside to find Twinkie's limp body in Godzilla's hands. He squeaked and recieved the attention of Godzilla. He pulled out a samurai and Godzilla extended his claws. Pinky used his awesome speed and chopped off his claws and with Godzilla screaming he stabbed his sword into the heart of Godzilla. His body went limp and fell to the ground. Pinky then wiped the blood of his sword and then started slapping Twinkie. “Well, then that was an exciting story,” said Twinkie and they started driving to Subway.

Twinkie limped off the Garden of Mythical Creatures and jogged to his Dodge Charger. He jumps through the car window and started the engine. Voom! He was off to Subway.

“Make an illegal U turn,” said the GPS system. So Twinkie does what he was told and made the illegal u turn. As he made the turn some spikes hit his wheels and his tire blew out, and then his car spins out of control and right into the window of Subway.

“Watch out!” yelled Twinkie as his blood red midnight black Dodge Charger then soars through the glass of Subway. His car rolled precisely 5 times and was directly in front of the cash register.

“I liked to pick up my 12 subs please,” says Twinkie.

“I don't think so,” said the hooded gold cloak that it was so bright Twinkie had to shield his eyes against the rays of it wearing Subway dude and as fast as the speed of light he pulled out an Indianapolis Colts football. “Yes, I know this is your only weakness.” says the Subway dude. So it was, the Colts always beat the Raiders at football every year. “I will take your 12 subs,” says the Subway dude who Twinkie just realized was Peyton Manning!

“I don't think so,” Twinkie says silently and yelled, “ RAIDERS!” and grabbed his 12 subs. He then sprinted to his car, quick changed the tire and drove away. After his drive home he jumped to his roof with his jedi jump and falls right into his couch.

“ Bahra, ba, ba, ba, I'm loving it,” says the T.V.

“Ah, just in time for the end of the commercial break to start watching the football game,” Twinkie says and he pushes a button on his couch.

“300 times speed off,” the couch says.

“I hope these subs are still fresh,” and with that he takes a bite. “Yum delicious,” he says, “wonder what happened to Peyton Manning. Humph the world may never know,” says Twinkie. The Raiders came back on and Twinkie never missed a single part of the game.

Let's see what Peyton's up to........ Wow that is a crazy fan. thinks Peyton as he drives back home to Indianapolis, Wonder if i will ever see him again. With that the story of Twinkie's commercial madness ends, but not his life. We will see you again.

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