Jacqueline | Teen Ink

Jacqueline

February 17, 2008
By Anonymous

Jacqueline shot straight up at the voice of which she thought to be her fathers. She ran down the hall to the stairs taking them three at a time. She ran into the living room only to find her mother sitting on the couch with her younger sister. Why had she been so stupid? Her father had been missing for over two years; he was probably dead by now. Jacqueline turned her face away from her small family to hide the tears rolling down her cheeks. She sighed to herself as she walked up the stairs back to her room. She sat on her canvas bed picking at the black and white covers. She thought about how happy she used to be when her father would sit right next to her and tell her all the fascinating stories about his child hood. Silent tears were thrust into sobs as she clearly remembered her fathers smiling face. Jacqueline hated life with out him. She hated the thought of staying here in this stupid world with out him guiding her. Jacqueline's mother had lost a husband, and her sister had lost a father, but Jacqueline had lost her hero, her father, her best friend, her laughter, her joy, her smiles, her life. She saw no point in going on living with out him. Though she wished she could, Jacqueline could never bring herself to end her life. She couldn't hurt her family like that. Only seven-teen and she had already lost everything. Boys wouldn't fix anything, love wouldn't fix anything, nothing could fix her. She sat up and wiped her eyes telling herself to stop being a baby. She looked down at her wrists and saw almost every cut that she had ever made. She remembered how when she had first started the cuts would fade and no one could tell. Now she had to hide her wrists like so much else. And to think all the secrets came from a four letter word. A four letter feeling that sometimes lasts for ever, pain. Pain had caused it all. If she still had her father she wouldn't have pain, and if she didn't have pain she would be happy like she used to be. Jacqueline hopped of her bed and paced her room trying to come up with a way to get rid of that word, to stop the lies and tears. Nothing came. Jacqueline heard a knock on her bed room door; she opened it and saw her little sister's pretty face. When she asked her younger sister, Jenny, what she needed she hadn't been expecting what she got.

"What I need, Jacqueline, is my loving older sister. I need the laughs and smiles back, I need the secrets to stop. I need you to stop pretending like you don't cry at night because Mum and I both know you do. I need you to admit that you’re hurting so we can help you. I need you to stop thinking that life is over with out Dad. I need you to open your eyes and see how special you are. I need you to realize that no everyone you love is going to be taken away from you. I need you to know how much your family cares about you. I need you to realize that I'm telling you all this out of a four letter word, pain. That's what I need, but that's not why I came. I came to tell you that we know you cut, when you ran into the living room this morning, you were wearing a short sleeved shirt, and we saw the scars. Mum says that you need to stop but realizes sticking you in an institution isn't what's best for you. We want to help, we need to help. And I came to ask if you'll let us."

Jacqueline nodded her head while warm tears streamed down her face she didn't even bother to turn her face away from Jenny. Jacqueline let her sister walk into her room. Jenny sat on the bed and looked at her stunning older sister. Jacqueline sat down on her bed across from Jenny. She noticed all the things they had in common as far as looks go. They had the same long thick brown hair and dark green eyes set on an olive complexion. She sighed as she noticed that Jenny had their father's nose. She wondered where she would be if her father was still here. She wondered where her 14-year-old sister would be if they still had their father. Jenny peered into her sisters deep eyes and wondered what she was thinking. It seemed like hours dragged by before the right words were finally found.

"So how can we help you, Jacqueline?"


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