The Story of Monty and Cabbages

February 15, 2008
By Arthur King of the Britons, Park City, UT

Monty Monroe was a peace-loving man who lived beneath the waves. He was very popular amongst the native sea creatures that dwelled in the ocean. Monty's best watery friend was a purple Narwhal named Cabbages. Monty would ride loyal Cabbages all around the ocean, and the two would have grand adventures together.

One of these exciting adventures includes the naval attack on an Arctic Global Warming Research Camp. You see, sea creatures are very Republican, and don't believe in Global Warming (even if it was real, they'd gain lots of property from the resulting world-wide flooding). The humans at the base had just picked up undeniable proof for Global Warming, and that was unacceptable to the Sea Creatures around the world.

When Monty received word of the grievous news, he and his trusty steed swam millions of miles to the barren Arctic Circle. They brought along hordes of aquatic troopers to take over the base. When the army began their invasion, they emerged from the fields of ice and raided the many Global Warming Base defenses. Polar Bears armed with icicles wiped out many of the Sea Creatures, and humans with heat rays were able to destroy the rest of the army. But Monty and Cabbages survived and were able to storm the base and steal the files from the interior hard-drives.

With the files gone, the humans were unable to prove the existence of Global Warming and the Sea Creatures of the world were able to sleep in peace. Monty and Cabbages would later go on to stop the infamous "The Burning Earth” documentary.

And the Earth was flooded, and all the Sea Creatures lived happily ever after.

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