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To Be, or Not To Be
It was a bright sunny day. Today was the when the king would be announced in the land of Ishkabibble in the planet Galus. The two competitors were Flargs Shmitzleberg and Shanneyney Bob. The two of them have been competing very hard. They have traveled all around Ishkabible; from Gonga to Harza and even to Yox. The both of them have been talking about change in their country.
Galus is the largest planet in the universe. It is 30 times larger than earth and from space it looks yellow and orange. The yellow part is the ocean. The ocean is filed with green crabs, pink sharks, white whales, and the rare black shrimp (it is considered the best tasting food in the universe). The sky is also yellow. The orange part is the ground. It is as orange as . . . well an orange. There are some parts in the world where you can eat the ground and it will taste like the best orange you will ever had (the best location is Yoxenberg).
Now back to the race, Flargs Shmitzleberg is a very tall and fat person. He has three arms and five legs. He is basically an average person. He is the nicest person anyone would meet. He has been running for king for 69 years, but has never won. Flargs has promised to do great things for Ishkabible; such as making it a cleaner, safer, and much healthier using the Jenny Craig diet plan (did you know that studies have shown that the healthier you are, the longer you will live?).
Shanneyney Bob was not the average person. He was medium height, medium size, and has green skin (most Ishkabiblians have blue skin). This was his first time running for the king. He plans to do the same thing as Flargs, but he intended on getting everyone to vote for him in a different way. His plan was to pay every person that voted for him that way he would not have to go through all the trouble of traveling. Shanneyney was basically like today’s Bill Gates, but ten times richer.
It was a fierce race. Flargs traveled all over Ishkabible and told everyone his plans. Everyone supported Flargs’s ideas, but they liked Shanneyney’s idea better. However, little did everyone know that this was part of Shanneyney’s plan to just gain power, with the exception of Flargs.
It is Driday, Loctober 40th 8596 F.A.A.D. (Far After A.D). Everyone gathers around the castle and wait for the announcement. The trumpeters blow their trumpets and a person begins the announcement. “Here me, here me! We are all gathered here today to find out who the next king shall be. But our current king would like to make his last speech. King Fluxnarg DXI.
“I would just like to say it has been an honor to be your king. Serving this land has been a pleasure,” Fluxnarg says in his deep low voice. Everyone claps at his short speech.
He goes back to his seat and the person comes back. “Thank you King Fluxnarg for that amazing speech. Well, I shall now announce the new king of Ishkabible.” The trumpeters blow on their trumpets and a drum role also comes in. “The new king of Ishkabible is . . . . oh! . . . sorry everyone, there is a smudge on the letter I can’t quite read it. Pardon me for one second.” He runs off the stage and comes back in about five minutes, “Thank you for you patience everyone. As I was saying the new King of Ishkabible is. . . King . . . Shanneyney Bob!” The crowd roars so loudly that the ground starts to shake. The crowd calms down and the person says, “Your new king has some words to say.”
The crowd roars again as Shaneyney comes onto the stage. The crowd then becomes quiet and Shaneyney starts, “Thank you, thank you! Ladies and gentlemen, you have made a wise choice in choosing me as your king. . .”
As king Shaneyney is talking to the crowd, Flargs is telling his campaign how it is a mistake to make king Shaneyney king. Right after Flargs said that Shaneyney ends his speech and starts to say something else. “Now that my speech is over, I would like to make some new decrees.” After he said that, a short fat man comes on the stage with a laptop, sits down, and waits for the king to make his first decree. “My first decree is that there will now be a curfew at 8 y.m.” Everyone starts to look at each other in shock. “My second decree is that there will now be land taxes.” Some people are fainting hearing the new decree. “And my third decree for this day is . . . well I haven’t thought of one so that is it. So . . . be gone, for now you have 10 minutes until curfew.” Tonight is the darkest night.
It has been a couple of weeks since king Shaneyney has been king and everyone is miserable. The money they received from Shaneyney was all gone because they had to pay for the land taxes and all the other taxes. It is as if this was all planned.
“I saw this coming,” Flargs said to himself. He was the only person in Ishkabible that didn’t pay his taxes because he believed it was out of question to pay for these ridiculous taxes. One day king Shaneyney looked at his list of tax payers and everyone had a check next to their names, but Flargs. So king Shaneyney decided to send his guards to get Flargs and ask him some questions. The guards went to Flargs’s house, brought him back to the castle, put him in a room and left.
Ten minutes later the guards come back, but this time with king Shaneyney. They sit down across from Flargs.
“So, I see that you have decided not to pay your taxes,” says king Shaneyney.
Flargs replies, “No, I did not.”
“Well then,” says king Shaneyney “Being the nice man I am I will give you another 30 days to pay up your debt. If not, then I will be forced to shave your head,” and the guards gasped. Ishkabiblians and everyone else in the world have great pride and joy in their hair and for it to be shaved off that meant that you are a disgrace to everyone, especially yourself.
Flargs in outrage stands up, bangs his hands on the table so hard that it cracks, and yells, “You know this is unfair! You lied and cheated everyone, you bought the election!”
“Yeah, so what? No big deal, I just tricked a few gabillian people saying that I would be fair.” Flargs smiles after this comment and everyone heard a click.
“Fine. I will pay you back in 30 days.”
“Finally you understand,” replies king Shaneyney. Everyone then leaves the room, but Flargs seemed to be the happiest of them.
After 22 days there was a huge crowd of angry and furious people in front of the castle. Once king Shaneyney saw this he dressed up and went outside on his balcony.
“Please everyone calm down! Calm down!” he yells.
“I bet that is what you want us to hear don’t you?” the crowd answers back with frustration.
King Shaneyney starting to become a little bit nervous replies, “What are you talking about?”
Out of the crowd comes Flargs and says, “Well I took the chance of recording our conversation,” he smiles, “and decided to show it to everyone.”
King Shaneyney starts to sweat like its August and it is 100 degrees. He starts to tell himself, oh my goodness. I better get out of here fast. So King Shaneyney runs back into ````````````````````his castle, packs up everything he can, goes to the basement and goes into a rocket. After five minutes the rocket launches and Shaneyney is no longer the king.
The crowd roars in happiness, “Yeah! Finally! He is gone! Woopie!” Then an announcement comes on from the castle, “Everyone, I would like you attention. King Shaneyney is no longer our king; he has left his throne and decided to move to the moon, as most of you saw. Please report to the stadium to hear our next king.”
Everyone leaves the castle and go to the stadium. Once everyone arrived a person comes on the stage and begins to talk, “Thank you for coming here on short notice. I will make this as short as possible. . .”
“Then hurry it up!” yells a man from the crowd.
“Well then, the new king of Ishkabible is none the less. . . King Flargs!”
The crowd roars louder then they did for Shaneyney. This time both the ground and buildings started to shake. Once the crowd settled down king Flargs comes up on the stage and says a short speech, “Thank you everyone for that very loud celebration,” still trying to clean his ears, “I will just say that this time, everything will be better. Now go on back to work, for I have to make some new decrees.” The crowd starts to shrink until nobody is there.
King Flargs stays as king for the next 100 years and during those 100 years, Ishkabible becomes a healthier, wealthier, and cleaner place to live in. In fact the population triples after 80 because of his new health plan, making everyone live about 20 years longer than average. As for Shaneyney, he has grown very big in the past 100 years.