Deadly Resolutions

Freakin George! Damn that man. I had broken my New Year's resolution all because of him. Why did I even bother to promise myself the same thing every year? I thought back to that night, at Mary's New Year's Eve party. We all went around saying our resolutions. I told them mine was to not kill anyone, and they laughed histerically. They apparently didn't believe I could do it. Why else would they have laughed so hard?



I was determined though. I wasn't going to kill anyone. I wouldn't have either if George hadn't showed up in my life. I sat quietly staring at his lifeless body. Damn jerk. If he had just fallen into the street and not onto my pansies, I wouldn't have gone into a mad rage and bludgeoned him to death with the cookie jar.



Fortunately no one had seen me dragging him kicking and screaming into my kitchen. I quickly chucked his body in a trash bag and tugged it out onto the front lawn and down to the garbage can. My neighbor Leonard asked what was in it and I told him a dead body. He laughed, obviously not believing that I would have broken my New Year's resolution. Why else would he laugh? At least someone had faith in me.



Mrs. Macintosh came ambling across the street. I finished shoving the body into the trash can and invited her inside for tea, because with my resolution broken, I might as well just end her. That way at least she would stop stealing my newspapers. Probably should take out that ugly mailman too. He was always smiling at me like we were friends. We weren't friends. He had no right to make the assumption that we were.



Three murders and it was only the first day of January. Oh well, there was always next year.





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