1000 Words to Live

January 20, 2012
By Mantequilla SILVER, Eagan, Minnesota
Mantequilla SILVER, Eagan, Minnesota
8 articles 0 photos 79 comments

I’m going to drive. I’m going to drive away. I’m going to drive until the road simply ends, and keep going. They want to write my life. I won’t let them. Even now I can feel my life being edited. Even now I am being created. I can’t escape. I can’t hide. But I know I can’t submit. My name’s irrelevant because I don’t have one. I don’t actually have a past. And I don’t have a secure future. They haven’t created it. I exist only within these words. All around me is only what I’ve been told. No one else is here. There’s just me, the road, the car and the sky. Only the things in the picture. Other people are out there. I can feel them. See their shadows. But they are there, not here. Here is me. Only me. My life is a paradox. It relies solely on, well, you. When you read this, you give me life. But as soon as you put this down to go do something else, I stop. I exist in every moment of this, never moving, never stopping. I have 1,000 words to live. 200…201… the count slowly moves on. My saving is my undoing. My limits are my life, and my death. The sky is a strange flash of my memories. They are 230 words ago. And now, when there is writer’s block, I stop. And waste words. I stop running. I let them think. I guess what I’ve been doing has worked, and now, instead of freedom, I am being captured again. Being told where I should go.
I really don’t know how I figured this all out. Once again, they haven’t told me. Or maybe I don’t actually know. Maybe what is happening is all their thoughts being poured into me, corrupting me, filling my empty shell. Now I’m at 319. It’s strange, because I have all this potential, all these possibilities. And yet I am doing almost nothing. I am now past 341.
Without knowing it, the writer’s block has been surpassed by my rambling, its looming essence gone. I am now back in their control, but thinking back, I never lost them. 373.
With each passing word that is, I feel my time coming ever closer. I have lived 390 words, and yet I know nothing. It’s true that I have just said all this, but what part am I? Am I even existent without them? I am ever dependant on them, but are they in anyway dependant on me? Are we the same? If I am them, then they must be me, but why don’t I feel it? Can I feel? What do I feel? I feel the wind. I hear things as they go by. But was that me? Or was that them telling me, even as I said it? 483. I can’t shake this weird feeling. I could be doing anything, and yet here I am… doing nothing? 502.
The road keeps going. Nothing seems to change much, but I know I am moving. Is that my driving? Or my existence closing in on me? 529.
But what is causing these emotions? If, in fact, I am not really in control, then that would mean that all my feelings of rebellion, all my questions of reality, are theirs. If that is so, then I am actually a reflection of them. So if I am them, then there is no escape. I cannot change how they shape me. Or is there? If they have the same feelings as I, then maybe they are one of the shadows of another I had seen. Maybe they are like me, being written, without any escape. So in their writing, I am part of them, just like they are part of the them writing them. Confused? So am I. 648.
Whatever their intentions, I am still reaching the end of the line. That fact is unavoidable. I am determined to make these thousand words count. But how? In my creation, I am my own destruction. Honestly I don’t know who else is out there. Who will read it? I always assumed that they were the ultimate truth, but they may be caught in the same paradox as I, constantly spinning, doomed to a life of repetition. Always moving, never remembering, then starting again. Is there anyway to break the cycle? After these thousand words are over, the road will end, and I will stop. Or will I? There is no way to tell. Will I just go back to the beginning with all thoughts erased? Have I already done this? Twice? Three times? A hundred? Can I change the cycle? Can I break free? Is it possible? I have to decide soon. Each passing moment brings me closer, I am certain of this. And I know I must try to get out. Will my thoughts be the same when I start again? And what happens when they stop writing and they start reading? Will I even make it this far? I will not take the chance. I am going to do something this time. Not next time, this time. 868.
Whatever will take place must take place at the end. There it is. I could see it all the time, but I somehow missed it. It is getting closer. There is no way out. So the only way to possibly do something is to spend these last thoughts wisely. 918. It ends. Like something I should know. Everything ends. I can see it, the nothingness. Maybe I will never know who they are, but I have gone down this road, and maybe I can take another road next time. I brace for what will come, and I make my decision. I still won’t submit to them. I have just lived 979 words. And I know that 1000 words are worth much more than just a picture, because they are my life. 999…1000.


1001.

The author's comments:
This is the story of everyone and no one. You will either get it or you won't. Good luck.

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This article has 19 comments.


on May. 7 2012 at 9:27 pm
overexposed PLATINUM, Davie, Florida
27 articles 0 photos 17 comments

Favorite Quote:
When you compare the sorrows of real life to the pleasures of the imaginary one, you will never want to live again, only to dream forever.

This was SO captivating! Like MiraStorm said, you had me hooked on every word. This is a masterful paradox in and of itself, amazing job! 5/5! c: 

 


on Mar. 11 2012 at 5:19 pm
Mantequilla SILVER, Eagan, Minnesota
8 articles 0 photos 79 comments
Wow! Thanks so much! I'm gonna be sure to read some of your stuff now. ;)

on Feb. 10 2012 at 9:42 pm
Plain-Jane ELITE, Grandview, Missouri
108 articles 2 photos 76 comments

Favorite Quote:
"And the Lamb at the center of the throne will be their Shepherd. He will guide them to springs of living water; and God will wipe away every tear from their eyes." Revelation 7:17

Wow you held my attention for 1001 words. that captivated me like none other, even though the words were pretty much meaningless. i've never read so much of something from so much nothing. i applaud you. this is now one of my favorite articles.

on Feb. 4 2012 at 6:04 pm
HiddenAngelInTheDark PLATINUM, Brooklyn, New York
39 articles 0 photos 179 comments

Favorite Quote:
Theres so many that I can't pick sorry

Good point

on Feb. 4 2012 at 5:49 pm
Mantequilla SILVER, Eagan, Minnesota
8 articles 0 photos 79 comments
I guess it all depends how you look at it. ;)

on Feb. 3 2012 at 8:20 pm
HiddenAngelInTheDark PLATINUM, Brooklyn, New York
39 articles 0 photos 179 comments

Favorite Quote:
Theres so many that I can't pick sorry

Words can't explain the meaning behind this can they

on Feb. 3 2012 at 5:30 pm
Mantequilla SILVER, Eagan, Minnesota
8 articles 0 photos 79 comments
Thanks blue. ;) I'm glad you liked it.

on Feb. 3 2012 at 5:21 pm
Blue4indigo PLATINUM, Sturbridge, Connecticut
24 articles 0 photos 382 comments

Favorite Quote:
I'd rather be sorry for something that I did than for something I didn't do.
-Red Scott

This is...amazing! I loved the way you make the reader think...and the hidden meanings, and symbolism... I loved the tone as well! Needelss to say...5 stars, and very very well deserved!

on Jan. 29 2012 at 2:18 pm
Mantequilla SILVER, Eagan, Minnesota
8 articles 0 photos 79 comments
Thanks. ;)

on Jan. 29 2012 at 2:07 pm
Tbug1997 PLATINUM, Bloomsburg, Pennsylvania
29 articles 1 photo 39 comments

Favorite Quote:
When in doubt... Blame it on your siblings
when life gives you skittles throw them at random people and yell FEEL THE RAINBOW

Loved it! it was very nice

on Jan. 28 2012 at 9:56 am
Mantequilla SILVER, Eagan, Minnesota
8 articles 0 photos 79 comments
Thanks! ;)

on Jan. 28 2012 at 9:45 am
Simplyjessey BRONZE, Dillonvale, Ohio
4 articles 0 photos 8 comments

Favorite Quote:
Be yourself everyone else is taken.

wow nice :)

on Jan. 28 2012 at 9:40 am
Mantequilla SILVER, Eagan, Minnesota
8 articles 0 photos 79 comments
Ha ha! Thanks! I'm glad you liked it. ;) Yours is really good too. :)

on Jan. 27 2012 at 10:51 pm
WrittenEmotions PLATINUM, Fairhope, Alabama
32 articles 0 photos 209 comments

Favorite Quote:
The only people who don't get anywhere are the people who don't dream of a better place for themselves...

I love this. It's so beautiful... And I understand it!(: well done, dear! 5/5

on Jan. 26 2012 at 9:08 am
ForeverSweetheart GOLD, Safford, Arizona
17 articles 1 photo 36 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Babe, do what you have to do." -- Ryan M.
"I like nonsense; it wakes up the brain cells." -- Dr. Seuss
"Put him in the taffy puller!"
"Taffy puller?!"
"Hey! That was my idea!" -- Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.

YAY!!!!! I get a gold star!

on Jan. 25 2012 at 9:43 pm
Mantequilla SILVER, Eagan, Minnesota
8 articles 0 photos 79 comments
Fantastic. You officially rock. Gold Star for you!

on Jan. 25 2012 at 5:43 pm
ForeverSweetheart GOLD, Safford, Arizona
17 articles 1 photo 36 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Babe, do what you have to do." -- Ryan M.
"I like nonsense; it wakes up the brain cells." -- Dr. Seuss
"Put him in the taffy puller!"
"Taffy puller?!"
"Hey! That was my idea!" -- Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.

That's cool! I get it! I love it :)

on Jan. 25 2012 at 5:42 pm
Mantequilla SILVER, Eagan, Minnesota
8 articles 0 photos 79 comments
Basically the life of a story character. They exist in the words, but no where else. SHOCK IN AWE! lol :)

TapTap SILVER said...
on Jan. 25 2012 at 5:40 pm
TapTap SILVER, New Berlin, Wisconsin
8 articles 0 photos 146 comments

Favorite Quote:
Dream as if you'll live forever, love like there is no tomorrow, dance like there is no one watching.

I don't know if i have this right. I don't know if you are referring to the life of the story itself your life, the life a soul. But, i guess that;s for me to interpret.




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