Tears of Blood

January 4, 2008

I will never forget the day I first saw her. She was taking a walk in the hottest time of day. She passed out, and I couldn’t help her; I had to stay in the shadows. No one stumbled upon her; she was deep in the eerie woods.

I remember nightfall, and creeping over to her as the taunting sun finally set away from the sky. She was beautiful, but some unseen wave of security kept me at a distance. I smelled her sweet scent, but something was wrong.

She had darkness to her that made her belong to the night. She stirred, causing me to creep back into the shadows. She settled, and I walked up to feel her pulse. It was barely there! I rushed her to the hospital, and when the nurse asked what I was doing in the woods that night, I replied, “ The woods comfort me.”

The doctor seemed to recognize the girl – they even called in her parents. Her mother and father was a charming little couple. Then, I was told someone wanted to see me. They led me into a room painted green – as if it wasn’t green enough here already.

The girl had an IV drip pinned into her arm; she had purplish bruises under her eyes, with which she looked at me with her piercing blue gaze. She asked thankfully,
“ My name’s Kaia; what’s yours?”


I heard myself ask, “ My name’s Kaia; what’s yours?” He replied cautiously, as if I would be able to tell his deepest, darkest secret, “ Thaddeus.” I smiled brightly and said, “ Thaddeus, thank you. If it weren’t for you I’d already be dead.”

He smiled, revealing ultra white teeth. I looked at him sadly and stated, “ I’m meant to die sometime soon, but this wasn’t my time.” His smile disappeared, and he asked, “ What?” I looked into his eyes and answered, “ I’m terminally ill. I was diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumor. There wasn’t treatment for it, so they just gave me pain meds. They know I’ll die sometime this year…”

“ What do you want to do before time?” he inquired. I smiled as I imagined my dream. “ I want to see or know somebody extraordinary. Somebody different.” I knew the moment I said it that I’d struck a nerve with him.

He said quickly, “ I’ve got to go. I’ll come visit later,” and from the moment he said that, I knew he wouldn’t be coming back.


I heard her think, he won’t be coming back. I chuckled, amused at the thought. The only reason I’d left was because of what she’d said. It was as if she knew what I was: a monster, a demon – and deep down – a coward. I couldn’t face her, and I knew I was more powerful.

I’d decided to go get flowers and go back. She was so beautiful; she didn’t deserve to die. I picked a red rose from a field; I cut the thorns from it. I couldn’t risk her spilling blood around me.

I went back to the hospital to be greeted by two very happy parents. They were so happy I saved her. I simply nodded and walked to her room; She was asleep. I could see the rising and falling of her chest as she breathed steadily. A monitor was beeping rhythmically with her heartbeat.

The screen didn’t need to make any noise; I could hear her heartbeat well enough without it. I sat in the hard plastic chair beside her bed, and she aroused. Her eyes slowly opened, and immediately glowed with happiness when she saw my face.

I held the rose up to her, and she took it gently and weakly from my hand. She whispered, “ I didn’t think you’d come back. I thought something I said made you angry.” I smiled and stated quietly, “ You just took me by surprise. I’m not really normal, and I thought somehow you’d detected it.”

She tilted her head to an angle and raised an eyebrow. I told her, “ I really would like to tell you. I really do, but it’s not something I can tell easily.” She whispered, “ You can trust me, and I won’t think you’re crazy. I promise, no matter what.”

I smiled and dropped my voice to a little more than a whisper and said, “ I’m not really human. I think you’d probably recognize the term vampire. That’s what I am. I could tell you were sick because of your smell. Your blood wasn’t normal.”

She smiled and whispered, “ Thank you. Thanks for letting me fulfill my wish.” I smiled, and knew that if she accepted me like this, then she was the one. Every vampire has one human that was meant for him or her, the only human that would understand and accept the monster they talked to.

She asked, “ How long are you going to be here?” I told her matter-of-factly, “ As long as you want me.” She said one last thing before she fell asleep again. It was, “ Until the day I die.”


The days passed, and they finally released me. It’s not like there’s anything they could do anyways. I hate how the doctors always look at me, and I can see in their eyes that they feel sorry for me.

Thaddeus stayed by my side during the whole hospital visit. He said he’d find a place to stay in this town – that he liked it anyways. I don’t know how – or why – I trust him like I do. I mean, he claims he’s a vampire, yet I believe him.

When we got home, all of my friends from school had set up a party. Well, what friends I did have. Everyone seemed to stop being my friend after they found out I was sick.

It was as if they didn’t want to be around me – that I made them sick too. Several came and hugged me, but most kept their distance. Thaddeus walked in, and half of their mouths dropped. I looked at him, and then I noticed. One, it was dark, so he could come home with us. Two, he was drop dead gorgeous – they were probably going gaga over him in their minds.

From all the vampire legends I’ve heard, he has to be inhumanly handsome. It’s in their nature. Late, after everyone left – including Thaddeus – I got ready for bed. I opened the window and walked over to the bed, jumping when I heard a low chuckle behind me.

I turned slowly, and there he was. His hair blew silently in the wind, and it reflected the moon’s light. I walked slowly to him; afraid he might just disappear. He came up to me and led me to the couch in the room. He sat down and I sat on the beanbag chair.

He asked, “ I want to talk – about anything. I just want to know about you.” I smile and said, “ There’re some things I’d like to know about you also.” He smiled and inquired, “ What’s your first question?”


After that night – and many nights – Kaia started to like me. I could tell; I could read her thoughts. I know, it sounded like I was eavesdropping, but mind reading was something I couldn’t really turn off.

In August, we shared our first kiss. It was two months after I first saw her. She was sixteen, and I was forever seventeen. We fit together. Slowly I became more aware of the time I had; she needed to be changed.

I finally asked the question, “ Kaia, can I just change you? You won’t hurt anymore.” She shook her head vigorously at the thought. “ No, I won’t turn my back on my religion. I love you, but I can’t willingly turn into you. I would be turning my back on all I believe in.” She finished. She managed not to cry through her whole speech, but afterward burst into tears.

I held her close until she calmed down. Even though I didn’t let on about it, I was disappointed. I didn’t want her to be in pain anymore. After she calmed down she stated boldly, “ I’m not afraid of the pain, and I’m certainly not afraid of death. I’m strong, and when it comes time for me to die, I’ll embrace it, not cringe from it.”


I wanted to be with Thaddeus – who I now call Thad – forever. The only problem is… I’m not a vampire. I’m also terminally ill; I’m going to die soon. The doctors estimate December. My birthday is December 2nd, and I hope that I’ll make it to be seventeen.

Thad and I talked, and soon we were dating. Though my friends thought it odd he didn’t come out during the day, I told them that he was very sensitive to the sun. They didn’t accept that answer. Soon I was spending all my time with him. My friends slowly stopped talking to me.

I don’t know what I’ve done to make them do that. Thad took me to his secluded old house. It’s beautiful; it’s filled with old antique things. He’d been collecting since he was forty-five; he was born in 1799.

I love him, and every day I live I think of giving into his offer. I’m not afraid to die; I just don’t want to leave him. I can’t, though. I won’t. I really want to, but I believe that’s different than acting upon your thoughts.

I contemplated several things while he was gone. He’d gone hunting. I thought of every excuse I could use to get him to believe I’m not really afraid. The problem is, I am afraid.

I can’t hide from it any more; I’m afraid of dying, plain and simple. He came in my open window, which had been left open many times in the past two months, and hugged me. He also kissed me softly on the forehead.

“ I love you,” he whispered, and I whispered it back. I love him; it’s true. I concealed my face in his chest and cry. He gently stroked my hair, and I finally met his gaze. I’m ashamed; I’m showing signs of weakness. I can’t give in to his offer.

“ Can I ask you a favor?” he asked. I look up at him – he’s nearly and foot taller than me – and he’s gazing into my eyes. I meekly answered, “ Yes…” He smiled and said, “ Don’t do anything you don’t want to do. Don’t say yes if you don’t want to be changed. I love you either way.”


Weeks passed; it’s now November. Every day I could see Kaia getting weaker. Her skin kept getting sallower. Her eyes lost their humanly, alive glow. She was losing the battle.

Thanksgiving came up, and Kaia’s parents invited me to dinner. I smiled, and knew that they loved their daughter. On thanksgiving, I was thankful for so many things. I couldn’t even say all of them. At the table her mom asked everyone to tell a few things they were thankful for.

Her mother and father were thankful for one thing and one thing only: their daughter being alive. Kaia was thankful for finding me, and her being alive. It came to my turn and I said, “ I’m thankful for Kaia; she makes me feel whole. I’m thankful for her being alive with us, and I’m thankful that she’s happy. As long as she’s happy, I’ll be thankful and happy.”

We ate. I ate a few bites of turkey and a small helping of green beans. I didn’t want Kaia’s mom to be unhappy. When it came time for me to leave, Kaia told her parents that she was going to bed. We’d been doing this charade for quite some time.

She’d take a shower, and then she’d open the window, which I’d climb through. Then we just talked. This was where I belonged – by her side – always.

Kaia went to the hospital on November twenty-eighth. She was really sick. She’d be dead in a few days. The doctors couldn’t help her. Her parents allowed me time with her; they knew it would make her last few days happy ones.

The last day we were together was when I was in another green painted room; it was November thirtieth. We were just talking; it helped her to forget the pain. She could tell it was her time, and she looked at me sadly.

A single tear slipped down her cheek and she whispered hoarsely, “ I love you Thaddeus. I will always love you. I will never forget.” I whispered sadly, “ I love you too. I will love you 'til my eternity is up.” She smiled meekly and the light in her eyes faded completely.

She closed them slowly, and soon her breathing slowed. It stopped, and I laid my head down beside her and held her hand. “ I’ll miss you…” I felt something slip down my cheek. I touched it, and pulled my hand back. It was a tear of blood.

Her bravery made me realize I shouldn’t be afraid of death. She always talked about her time; it made me realize my time had long passed.

I walked, determined, out into the night. I ran to a meadow, and waited. I saw the first traces of dawn coming. I stepped out into the light, waiting for the warm rays to hit my skin. The sun touched my skin, and soon it was touching all of me.

I wasn’t bursting into flame? I’m giving myself to the light, and I’m not burning? I then see my skin; it’s slowly fading into mist. I feel myself being lifted into the sky. I looked just above a cloud, and I saw something that made me ecstatic. It was Kaia. She greeted me with her hand, and I held on.

We were both being lifted up; I wasn’t going down into the forsaken place all vampires went. I then knew; I’d been forgiven through both Kaia’s and God’s love. I was going to a special place. The best place ever: Heaven…and I was going with my angel.

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