It’s Not Over

December 19, 2007
By Barbara Radford, Tucson, AZ

As Shelly felt the fire rising inside of her, she turned to face her opposition. There was a hot feeling coursing through her veins. A feeling of disdain and contempt had spread slowly at first, but was now overtaking her entire body.
“What do you mean, you don’t care?!” She screamed. She was infuriated by what she was hearing. Every muscle, fiber, and nerve in her body was tense, trembling on edge, waiting to pounce. She could feel her head throbbing and her heart thumping.
“I mean its over! Give up Shelly!” The demon standing across from her tried to justify his actions. Fat chance. Nothing he could do now could stop the fast paced, face forward lunging of her emotions.
“Give up? After four years you say to just give up?” Shelly could not believe what she was hearing. Everything seemed so unreal. She felt so betrayed by this thing, this man whom she thought she loved. “Did I give up when your mother died? Or when you cheated on me? Or when you went to your brother’s wedding without me!!! I have never given up. And now you are asking me to just stop? Because of this little thing?”
“Shelly, you don’t understand. We can’t go back to the way it was. We just can’t, things are different now.” Every word that came out of his contemptuous lips was adding kindling to the anger now ablaze within her. Every part of her being was filled with her absolute detest for the sad excuse of a human being that was standing in front of her.
“You make a mistake? And now I have to pay for it? Why do I always have to pick up the pieces and be responsible? Take some credit you worthless pig!” Shelly’s mind was racing ahead of her words. So much was spiraling through her head that expressing her words now seemed to be of secondary importance.
“I just can’t take it any more! Work is really stressful, and then I come home and you never give me a break! Cut me some slack.”
Everything around her was swirling. She couldn’t feel her feet. She grabbed onto the chair positioned in front of her for support. She looked up at his face, which for a moment was softened with worry before it returned to the contorted anger that had previously inhabited it.
“Do you even know how I feel? I go to work too! Then I come home and clean up this entire place! I take the dog out, and cook for you, then you come home and completely ignore me!” Shelly was feeling lightheaded, and the pink line she saw yesterday kept appearing before her closed eyes. She was at a loss for how to explain this to him.
“Shelly, I told you, give up! It’s over. I’m done with this!” Shelly looked at him, her eyes suddenly full of sorrow and regret. She was still clasping the chair tightly in between her dampened palms. Her entire body was shaking now, with anger, resentment, sorrow, and weakness. She stood there looking at him for what seemed like eternity.
“I can’t give up. I’m pregnant.”

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