The Confuding Wall of Confusion

November 30, 2011
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It was a sunny morning, birds were chirping, kids were in there yards playing and ‘Lil Jimmy was on his way to work. He got into his brand new, shiny, red Ferrari. He was humming his favorite elevator music song, thinking what he’d eat for lunch. He had gotten about half way to work just passing Miss Pepper’s Chocolate Cookie Store, when out of nowhere… BOOM!!! CRASH!!! SCREEEECH!!!
Something fell in front of the car, but he couldn’t tell what it was! Dust was everywhere and rubble was still falling to the ground. ‘Lil Jimmy got out of his Ferrari, his nice shoes getting dirt all over them, his black velvety business suit and red tie getting small dust debris on them. When the dust cleared and the debris settled, there stood a, ever so straight, and ever so proud, wall. It was a dark maroonish color.
‘Lil Jimmy stood there, with his car door ajar along with his mouth, astounded. He couldn’t believe his eyes. His eyes couldn’t believe his eyes! What in the world, was a brick wall doing in the middle of the road? He had to get to work today, but he could go no further with this wall in the way. He walked up to the wall hoping it was some kind of mind trick. Nope, all wall, all there. The wall was cool and rough underneath his hands. He gave a push, and of course the wall didn’t budge. He walked around it and tried to pull it, but to his demise, the wall stayed put like peanut butter does on bread. He really needed to be at work five minutes ago. He couldn’t just drive through the wall, or could he?
‘Lil Jimmy could picture it now, backing his Ferrari up about ten meters. Revving His engine twice and slamming on the gas pedal shaped like a foot and bursting through that cursed wall. He did these things except for the bursting through the wall part. Instead, his Ferrari hit the wall and folded up like and accordion. CRUNCH!!!
A construction man saw ‘Lil Jimmy and stopped working on the road and ran over to help ‘Lil Jimmy. “ Thanks” said ‘Lil Jimmy with a painful grunt.
“No problem boy,” said the man with a certain authority,” What, exactly, were you trying to accomplish by hitting that there parked car?”
“What car? I hit a solid wall that fell in front of my car!”
“I’m afraid that you may be crazy, ‘cuase there ain’t no wall there.” The man looked at ‘Lil Jimmy with what seemed like concern with a hint of caution.
“ WHAT DO YOU MEAN?!?” Yelled ‘Lil Jimmy at the top of his lungs, “ THE ONLY WALL THAT IS IN THE ROAD! CAN YOU NOT SEE IT!?”
“Nope” said the man starting to get angry himself, “But I suggest you get that tone of voice off out of your voice when you’re talk’n to me!”
The man left and ‘Lil Jimmy was dumbfounded. He couldn’t believe the man was right. The wall was gone! Just like that the wall had vanished. Not a trace left.
‘Lil Jimmy couldn’t take the confusion anymore. He just walked down the street looking for some help, and found a conveniently placed Rent-A-Car center at the end of the street. He rented a nice black Porsche. It was way too late to go to work now so he showed up early for his afternoon gym appointment. After working out every muscle he possibly could, he left at 1pm. He went to the grocery store afterwards and stocked up on this month’s food. Possibly the one thing ‘Lil Jimmy would have never thought to happen one his way home, happened.
There was a mighty groaning sound coming from the south and then the sound of a one thousand pound anvil landing on a gigantic barrel of glass and dynamite exploding at the same time! SWOOOSHHH!!!!!BAAAAANGGG!!!!!SMEEEERSCHH!!!KA-BLOOOOEY!!!!!! At that same moment ‘Lil Jimmy realized on what was going on. Instead of panicking or screeching to a stop he sped up and hit the brakes at the last minute spinning the car around while going 150mph! When the car turned in the opposite direction he went in reverse and moved backwards in the nick of time, because another wall fell were his Porsche just was! He stopped the car and explosions exploded around his car adding to the already awesome event sequences that already happened! ‘Lil Jimmy saw a dust trail in the sky and followed it. He came upon the most strangest sight that bewildered him an enraged him at he same time. There at the end of the dust trail there was an enormous catapult, bigger than any he thought imaginable! There was a cleverly placed slide, humongous it was, and it was sliding down walls into the catapult and the catapult would shoot the walls out towards the city! And if that’s not enough for you ‘Lil jimmy would like you to know that new walls weren’t being made, instead the same wall was being shot out into the city over and over again. ‘Lil Jimmy was now aware that he must not be the only one seeing walls fall out of the sky. The wall kept getting shot over and over again because it was getting magically transported back to the top of the slide and sliding back down into the catapult! ‘Lil Jimmy then saw a tiny little guy, that sort of looked like Frodo from those Lord of the Ring movies, behind the catapult and working the lever. “Hey Frodo!” ‘Lil Jimmy yelled as he got out of the now dusty Porsche, “ Come out from behind there!”
“Never!” Squeaked Frodo, “And you’ll never get me brown parts!” ‘Lil Jimmy was going to ask what he meant, but before he could, he disappeared into little sparkles and confetti. ‘Lil Jimmy had had just about enough of this nonsense and whipped out his rainbow light saber and cut and burned down the whole catapult. The wall went to slide down the slide and into the catapult, but ‘Lil jimmy cut it in half and it disintegrated. No more nonsense thought ‘Lil Jimmy.

‘Lil Jimmy was walking back to the Porsche, but the little Frodo dude was all like “You’ll Never Get Me Brown Parts!!” and he and ‘Lil Jimmy went into an epic light saber battle, because the Frodo dude also had a light saber, but it was solid green. The battle was way to awesome to describe, but I’ll do my best. While ‘Lil Jimmy attacked the little Frodo, Darth Maul came out of nowhere and cut off Frodo’s left arm. Then Obi Wan Kenobi came and cut off Darth Maul’s head then fled. Then ‘Lil Jimmy stab Frodo Twenty-two times in the face before he died. Some little red ruby slippers fell out of Frodo’s pocket and ‘Lil Jimmy put them and clicked the heels and he was magically transported home. ‘Lil Jimmy was happily left alone until the end of his life.

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