Romeo and Juliet Do LA

December 26, 2011
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Juliet was happily walking down the sunny streets of Los Angeles towards Romeo’s house. It was a normal day in Los Angeles: robberies, gang showdowns, Superman flying above, naked people fleeing the police in the streets, and it goes on. She was approaching Romeo’s house when an angry iguana jumped out from behind the bushes at her. As it was flying near her, she performed a roundhouse kick on it, and it dissolved into dust in the air. She continued on to Romeo’s house.
Juliet walked up Romeo’s 400 step walkway to his house. Romeo opened the door after she knocked, and invited her in. She looked to her left, and Romeo did the same, and they saw Friar Laurence, passed out with Fitz’s root beer bottles, a bag of chips, and a Santa like belly, on
Romeo’s couch.


“Don’t ask,” Romeo said, cutting her off. He walked back over to his lab, where he was working on a robot that could turn on the TV for anyone.

“Nice invention so far, Romeo. What does it do?” asked Juliet.

“Couldn’t you hear the narrator? He just told you!” Romeo exclaimed.

“No, I wasn’t listening. I never listen to the narrator.” Just then, a bolt of lightning hit Juliet, killing her instantly… well, no. I lied. It didn’t. And it never will. I was just mad at her. That’ll show her not to listen to the narrator. Okay, back to the story.

Romeo and Juliet decided to ditch Friar Laurence, thinking he will be passed out for a day or so. They decided to take the water slide in the back of the house down to the street. They both slid down, and when they got to the street, looked back, and there was nothing there. Juliet looked right and a car hit her, sending limbs everywhere. Juliet laughed,

“It just gets funnier and funnier every time!” What, you thought that that was actually Juliet getting hit? Well, no, it wasn’t. It was a mannequin of her that she put out in the street. Silly reader, always jumping to conclusions.

Romeo and Juliet continued their walk down the one-way street, nearly getting hit by more cars. Finally they found the ice cream shop at the end of the rainbow. A leprechaun was there too, but because Romeo hated Leprechauns, he decided to drop kick it into a trashcan. They both got ice cream. Romeo’s was a 12 scoop, chocolate strawberry one, and Juliet’s was a 23 scoop Neapolitan contraption.

As Romeo was eating his ice cream, a hobo decided to push him in the back. Romeo fell down, and dropped all of his ice cream. This made Romeo mad. He got up, and threw a baseball at the hobo. The hobo retaliated with a football, right to Romeo’s gut. Romeo then threw a chair, which hit the hobo square on the head. The hobo then shot Romeo with a 12 gauge shotgun. Romeo used a flamethrower on the hobo. The hobo then temporarily ran away, but returned with a 2008 Chevy Silverado. He tossed it at Romeo, who easily deflected it with Chuck Norris in front of him. Chuck Norris now used a homemade potato gun. He shot it once at the hobo. The only thing everyone who had gathered around had saw was a fist come out of the gun, and then the hobo had disappeared in a flash of light.

Romeo and Juliet returned home, and saw Friar Laurence tied up, hanging from the ceiling, being hit at like a piñata by 40 or so people. Without thinking, Romeo picked up a random dog from the street, and aimed it’s, uh, mm, behind at the crowd of people. Then, he let it rip.
It was like heck in there. Most people passed out from the smell of the gas. Others fell down the water slide. Still others were flown away by their servants in their own personal helicopter. Friar Laurence started spacing out, and then fell limp. After everyone was gone, Romeo took down Friar Laurence, and hit him 30 times with Michael Jackson’s white glove.

“What were you thinking, man?” Romeo asked all purple in the face.

“I don’t know. But all I do know was I was passed out on your couch when you came home this morning, and then I was up there,” Friar said, hoping not to get slapped again.

“Well, I guess it’s all right Friar, just don’t do it again, hehe,” Romeo said.

Then, well the story is over. That’s right everyone, go home. You too Juliet! Sorry reader, but the story is over. Put down this book/short story, and go find another one. Good bye.

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runner44 said...
Jan. 9, 2012 at 4:20 pm
Funny and creative story! Very random thoughts...really made me laugh out loud.
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