December 19, 2011
By Anonymous

HEY! Have you ever wanted to be anything you’re not but never wanted to work hard and break a nail? Well girls, this new Fab-0 pill will do the trick. It will make you skinnier, prettier, smarter, taller, shorter, whatever you want...its yours!

Impossible you say? Not at all!

It simply works like this: Buy the Fab-0 pill for $999*. Concentrate on what you want. Take the pill and wa-la! You’re perfect, you’re flawless, you’re Fab-0.

But don’t just take it from us, listen to our happy customers stories about their experiences with Fab-0! :

“I always wanted to be skinny and tall so I could be a high fashion model. Thats always been my life goal. But no agencies would except me because I was size one (don’t judge) and I was only 5’3. They usually only excepted girls who wore a size 000 and were about 5’11. I couldn’t help it that I was born ugly! I begged my mother to buy the Fab-0 pill and she finally said yes. I simply took the pill, and instantly I dropped 3 pant sizes (I am now a successful 000) and I grew 8 inches in 2 weeks! Of course, I had major stretch marks from growing so rapidly, but I just took another pill and it made my skin absolutely flawless. I couldn't ask for anything else! The model agencies can’t get enough of me! Thank you so much Fab-0!
-Glenna, 17, New York

“My parents are strict, and expect me to have a 6.0 GPA, which is perfectly possible in my school. I go to a school made for genius’s, literally. Bill Gates son goes here. I sit next to him in english class (shh, its a secret). When my parents found out I got a 99% on my calculus test, they were furious! I needed something to make me 1% smarter so I could be perfect. I had recently seen the Fab-0 pills in my neighborhoods drug store, and I knew what I had to do. I ran to the drug store and instantly bought the pill. Not only did it make me think more logically, on my next test, I got a 110%. Perfect student and daughter? I believe so.”
-Courtney, 12, Maine

Why wouldn’t you want to be everything you dreamed about being? Now is your chance to be the perfect you!

Quit working so hard, you’re going to get grey hair before the age of 50! Sit back, relax, and just swallow one of our divine new Fab-0 pills. Your problems will be instantly solved.

Order now and you will recieve our cute bedazzled Fab-0 pill holder FOR FREE*!
It comes in pink, green, purple, and blue. Act NOW before this offer ends!

You’re dreams are just a drugstore away, so what are you waiting for? Go make your dreams come true.

You’ll be perfect, you’ll be flawless, you’ll be Fab-0.

*Plus shipping and handling. No refunds. For customer service call 1-800-Perfect
*Offer while supplies last. No refunds. Seriously.

The author's comments:
This piece is a Satire I wrote for my 10th grade honors english class. It was my favorite that I wrote, and I just had a ton of fun with it. Enjoy!

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