Antonio Talks Back

December 16, 2011
By Rajath Kenath BRONZE, South Plainfield, New Jersey
Rajath Kenath BRONZE, South Plainfield, New Jersey
4 articles 0 photos 0 comments

Man, I'm sad. Ships? No it's not because my ships are all over the place. Maybe I just need a woman, or maybe a dog.

Ah, great... Here comes my good for nothing friend. I wonder if he's finally got the money he owes me. What you want more money? To impress a girl? I don't have any money right now, it's all tied up in my ships. Oh, don't give me that look. Fine, just go take a loan, I'll guarantee what you owe. You're lucky I have a soft side.

Of all the money lenders Bassanio could find, of course it has to be Shylock. Yea? I don't like you either Shylock. Something about you just gives me the creeps. Maybe I don't charge people interest because I have a soul, what about you, huh? So what if I called you a cut-throat dog? I'm probably going to do it again. You're not exactly the friendly, sociable type Shylock. I've never even see you at the Christmas parties. Oh, so you're going to take away the interest in exchange for a pound of my flesh if I don't pay up? Come on, even you have to admit that that is a little dark... Ever consider seeing a shrink? But, whatever, I'll accept. My ships are going to come in soon.

Gratiano, is it just me, or are all our friends up to no good? Where is everybody anyways? I know my idiot cousin's sailed off to Belmont, but don't tell me that Lorenzo's really fooling around with that penny-pinching creep's daughter?

Cr**. Did I make a witch doctor or a gypsy angry in a past life? I must be cursed, because there is no other reason as to why another one of my ships would be wrecked. I'm going to be bankrupt soon! Well, on the bright side Shylock didn't charge interest, and it's not like he actually wants a pound of my flesh.

I can't believe you actually want a pound of my flesh. Shylock, please listen to me. Come on, don't you think it is a little immature to hold a grudge against me because I lent out money without charging interest.

Lucky me. I live in Venice, a city that upholds the law with an iron fist. Looks like there's no way I'm getting out of this one. Why did I have to sign that contract with that devil? It's all Bassiano's fault.

I'm all skin and bone. All this worrying caused me to loose 15lbs. I doubt I even have a pound of flesh left to give anymore.

This Balthasar, although not very manly looking, could have quite the future in law. That's right! Shylock can't spill any blood if he tries to cut out a pound of flesh, or he'll be charged with conspiring against the life of a Venetian citizen. Take him for all he's got Duke!

You know what Shylock, I'm feeling a little generous considering I'm not one pound lighter than I was this morning. Just convert to Christianity. Oh, and bequeath all your goods to your daughter, that doesn't like you, and her lover when you die, and I will give back your share of your estate.

The author's comments:
This is parody of Antonio's character from Merchant Of Venice by William Shakespeare, based on Margaret Atwood's "Gertrude Talks Back."

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