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My Unpredictable Life
The blazing sound of my alarm awakens me from my sleep. I slap my snooze button before my mom can cutely yell “Emily, sweetie please get ready for school.” I shrug off my covers and roll out of bed, my legs give out as I try to make it to the shower. As I turn the shower knob I get a pinching feeling. The ice cold immediately wakes me up. The water is like music to my ears, the steam whips my face and is enough to put me back to sleep. I trip while getting in to the bath room....this is a great way to start to my day.
While thoroughly re-conditioning my hair I start to think that I don’t remember seeing dad last night. I went to bed pretty late, finishing up my health project, and he usually is in bed way before that time. Hmmm he must have stayed later at the office or something, oh well. The heat is starting to give me a head ache and then I know it is time to get out of the shower.
I wrap myself tight in the fuzzy towel my mom laid out for my the night before. As I slowly start to dry off I realize that I have run out of my favorite green eye liner. Crap, now I am forced to use this cheap brown one. Surprisingly it goes well with my hazel eyes making them almost twinkle. Thank god it only takes about 10 minutes to do my make up. I was lucky enough to be born with clear tan skin so I never have to use that much. By then my hair has dried perfectly, soft strangles of hair are draped over my shoulders and fall at my waist. I was blessed with my mothers wavy hair, that is why a lot of the time people get us mixed up.
Once I finally get dressed I see that I am going to be late. I grab my school and practice bag and a protein bar, that usually gets me through until lunch. In the mist of getting everything, I stop and stare at my shiny new Jeep. The fresh cherry red coat of paint shimmers as the sun beams down. Ahhh such a good 18th birthday present.
Speeding to school I literally hit every single red light there is! Its ridiculous. Finally I get to school but it must be my lucky day or something because my special parking spot has not been taken. The spot is so perfect right in front of parking lot so I don’t have to search for it after school.
I quietly squat past the attendance office that way I won’t get marked late. They already hate me enough for leaving early sometimes. It isn’t long before I hear a familiar soft voice come on the intercom. Stephanie, one of my longest and bestest friends in the world! Every morning at 7:30am exactly she reads off the announcements since she is president. I can’t help but take some pride in helping her with that win. Who else would have snuck into school on a sunday night to hang posters all over the school. Well we technically didn’t break in...I had my dad call the school and let them know but I didn’t tell Steph that, it would have ruined the excitement.
Yes! Mrs. Damon’s door is open, now all I have to do is sit down while she isn’t looking....
“Nice of you to join us Ms. Blake.” Her raspy voice sends a shiver down my spine
“I’m sorry!” I plead my case “I literally caught every red light and you know how morning traffic can be.”
“Just don’t make a habit of it, now find your name we have assigned seats.” Its about time I’ve been stuck next to snotting Scotty for most of the year. Hopefully I get a better....“Em! Em! Your next to me and Nathan!” Omg this is the best, between my boyfriend and my best friend. It should be a great year.
As I break in my new seat Steph isn’t as talkative as usual. And whats up with Nathan, he’s not even making eye contact with me. I mean I did just hangout with him last night and everything was fine. Suddenly Steph slides over a note that reads urgent. Mrs. Damon is know for reading notes out loud so I carefully open it under my desk and my heart sinks. It reads I am so sorry about your parents divorce, no one saw it coming.
My mind doesn’t even process that I am in class. “What do you mean my parents are getting a divorce, no they aren’t.” I blurt out to her “I saw them....” Thinking about it I didn’t see either of my parents this morning.
“Honey would you like to step out side for a moment.” Mrs. Damon is acting nice, now I know something is up. I jolt out of the class room leaving everything in a mess and just run and run until I can’t anymore. Finding myself outside of the school I try to process what just went on. All these emotions are racing through my mind, one minute I’m mad the next sad, confused, nothing. I don’t know how to feel exactly.
Breathing in the fresh air I feel these muscular arms wrap me and I know that it is Nathan.
“I’m sorry, I can’t imagine how your feeling right now.” Yeah I don’t even know how I’m feeling right now I think to myself. “Do you want to leave?” He asks
“I don’t know.” I reply sharply
“My mom had said something to me when before I went to your house last night but I didn’t believe it was true until Steph told me this morning.”
“What.” Is he serious. “You knew and decided not to tell me so instead you let me come to school and find out in class?”
“Well...I thought you would have know...or maybe that they wanted to tell you.” So he claimed “I mean everyone knows so I sort of just figured you did and were okay with it.”
“Everyone knows?” You have got to be kidding me. “How?”
“Your mom was talking to Chelsea’s mom about it since she too is divorced and Chels over heard and told her posy of friends which eventually got back to Steph and I.”
“Perfect, all my friends knew except me.” “You know what I’m leaving.”
“I’ll come with...” Nathan goes to finish his sentence but I am already in my car and driving away before he can say anything more.
I stormed in my house not know what to do. I was standing there numb, unable to process to go to my living room or just do something. I find my mom sitting at the living room table crying, not noticing that I’m home.
“Sweetie, why are you home?” She asks as if nothing is wrong. “Did you forget something?”
“You don’t need to act, I know that you and dad are getting a divorce.” I sharply say. She’s speechless, the look on her face makes me feel as if I have disrespected her in some way. But hey what does she expect from me, this isn’t something that I was planning on happening.
“Are you going to say something?” I blurt out.
“Your father and I were going to tell you tonight but I guess you have found out otherwise.”
“But why?” You can hear the shakiness in my voice “Everything seemed as it always has, fine.”
“That’s because we didn’t want you and Stephen to worry until we were sure on our decision.” She’s making it seem as if we shouldn’t have had a part in it....it’s not just them who are being affected by this.
“We have already signed you guys up to go into counseling.” Is she joking? Only people who are messed up go there.
“No, No, No, No!” “There is no way I am going to talk to some random stranger about my problems, no.”
“Honey, they can really help with your thoughts and how you are feeling.” No one knows how I am feeling except me so I am not going to be told by a therapist.
“Talk to me when my real mom comes back.” I run up the stair case and slam my door shut. Hoping that I can just escape from this big mess that is now called my life.
Light from the sun peaks into my room and blinds me. I guess I passed out longer then I had thought. It was morning now and I certainly didn’t feel like going to school. How could I face all my friends and teachers with them knowing everything. It’s so humiliating. My phone had been buzzing like crazy. I look down to see that I have missed calls and texts from everyone. If only I were in the mood to deal with them. I turn it off and quickly fall back into my sleep. The only place I can go to really erase my thoughts.
Only an hour goes by before my mom barges in yelling your going to be late for school! Honestly I don’t care.
“I’m not going, bye.”
“Young lady, yes you are now get ready.” Does she not know everything I have just been through? Apparently not. Some mother she is.
“I said no! Now leave.”
“Fine.” “I guess you can have this one day off but don’t think your getting anymore out of me.”
She lightly closes the door and the softness of my blanket warms my checks and brings me back to when I was a little kid.
I lay awake unable to fall asleep, the last 24 hours is just replaying in my head over and over again. Suddenly my door opens yet again but it’s my older brother, Stephen.
“Em, are you awake?” He deep voice makes it hard not to laugh at him.
“Yes, what’s up?”
“I just wanted to see how you were handling things, you know with mom and dad.”
“Look at what I am doing right now, does it look like everything is okay?” You could say I am not in the happiest of moods.
“That was a dumb question, sorry.” Great now I’m acting mean towards the only other person that understands what I am going through.
“No, it’s fine you were just trying to make me feel better.” “All of this is crazy to me and I am not sure how to deal with it.”
“That’s understandable.” “I don’t want to run into either of them so I’m leaving soon, I just wanted you to know that If you need anything that you can call or come to me.”
“Thanks Stevie” As he walks away I feel that much more alone.
Eventually my hunger grows and by the unusual sound my stomach is making it’s about time I get food. I slowly pop my head down that corner of the stairs to see if anyone is there. Once I am sure I carefully walk down. The creek of the stairs isn’t helping me to not make much noise. Finally I reach the kitchen and the coast is clear. I empty everything out of my pantry and devour it all in a matter of minutes. Yes, now that’s more like it. Just as I am relaxing both my parents walk in.
“Emily, I think we all should talk.” My mom never gives up the “perfect housewife” act, ever.
“There is nothing to talk about, you guys have already made up your mind.”
“We want to talk about how you are feeling.” My dad injects.
“Well I don’t really feel like talking to either of you guys right now.”
“I get that you are not happy with our decision but that gives you no right to talk to us the way you are missy!” After 18 years now he wants to start acting like a father? That ship has sailed, sorry.
“Do not try to pull the parent card on me, neither of you guys really care or else you wouldn’t have done this!” My comment sends both of them in a rage and it ends up being this one big fight. I lose sight of the real reason why we are fighting but I am so angry I let it all out.
About an hour goes by and they are now fighting with each other. Great I thought they didn’t want me to witness this. How will I be able to survive this. Survive living in two houses or maybe not ever seeing one of them. With all of this fighting I am so weak. I just need to sleep and not think about anything right now.
Sadly I am awake, to be reminded of what is going on. I realize that it is 3 am! I must really be messed up, I never wake up this early on my own. All I could think about was what my brother had said to me. “If you need that you can call or come to me.” Then....a great idea comes to mind that will put everyone at ease. I take out a pen and paper and start to write.
Dear mom and dad,
I am really sorry for doing this but I think it is what’s best for everyone. I want you guys to know that even though I am very angry at you that I will always love you guys. You have always done what’s best for Stephen and I but this is what is best for me at this moment. I haven’t given it much thought but I can’t exactly think properly with the resent events. My decision is to go live with Stephen, in Toronto, while you guys figure things out. It’s only a 3 hour drive so I will be okay, don’t worryThis might be hard for you guys to understand but I will be able to focus on school and work out my emotions better.
I pack all my clothes and everything I will need. I leave my brother a voice mail letting him know. I hop into my car and speed away. Leaving all my problems behind.