"We’re doomed,” Nick said. “Just start digging me a grave now.”

“Oh come on, this can’t be that hard,” said Amanda. “If we work fast it’ll get done in no time.”

Nick coughed violently. “Sorry? I think the cafeteria food is making me delirious. What did you say?”

“Come on, we can each do our own choosing and it’ll be a piece of pie,” she answered,

“Firstly, I think the expression involves cake rather than pie, and secondly, I propose that I make you do all the work,” he said.

Amanda rolled her eyes. “Like the type of pastry matters. And I refuse to do your work, ye villainous scum.”

“Then we’ll have to settle this the hard way,” he yelled, jumping from his seat.

“Oh no! Not the hard way!” screamed an onlooker.

“Yes, the hard way,” Nick said in his most evil voice.

His partner lowered her eyes. “So be it.” She put one hand over her face and the other hand behind her back.

“What? What are you doing?” Nick demanded. “I was challenging you to a jousting tournament.”

She shrugged. “I thought we were doing rock paper scissors.”

“Then we shall do rock paper scissors,” he declared triumphantly. He frowned suddenly. “Shouldn’t you talk about right and wrong or something first?”

“Um… why?” she asked.

“Well, I’m pretty sure that you’re supposed ramble on about justice, then I kill you in a vicious match of rock paper scissors.”

“I would,” she began. “But I didn’t prepare a speech. Can we do the epic battle now and get back to the speech part later?”

“Yeah, not a problem. We can do it whenever. When are you free?” asked Nick.

“Tomorrow after school would be good,” Amanda replied. “And if it has to be this way, please, you can’t choose paper because I’m allergic to paper that is actually a hand.”

“I don’t think it works that way. I am really quite sure that you are supposed to talk about righteousness and all that then I kill you. I don’t think you’re allowed to make requests,” he said.

She held up a fist. “Don’t make me stab you with my fist.”

“Ah, I, um see your point. I suppose you’re right,” conceded Nick.

Their eyes locked with a hatred so intense that a nearby fig newton shriveled up. Everyone around them knew, this was the epic showdown between the two who had hated each other for the last two minutes.

“Wait…” Nick interrupted the moment with a question. “Why do you have a hand in front of your face?”

“It’s because I have a terrible poker face,” stated Amanda.

Nick frowned. “Really?”

“No, I’ve decided to become the Zorro of rock paper scissors,” she responded.

Nick’s cell phone vibrated.

“Oh for crying out loud, what now? Can’t we just get this over with?” yelled Amanda.

“Amanda, it’s from God,” he whispered.

“What?” she asked, thoroughly confused. “And why are you whispering?”

“He says shut up, there’s an epic love triangle he’s trying to watch over in the seventh universe.”

“Oh,” she murmured. “Are you ready then?”

He nodded.

It was at this point in time that the teacher, a rather frumpy—looking old lady hobbled her way to the front of the classroom.

“Pass the essays forward, chickies,” she called out. “Tomorrow’s task will be a discussion on vegetarians. Can they eat animal crackers? For now, the topic is individuality. I want you all to repeat after me: we are all individuals.”

There was a loud resounding response from the students, all the students except for Nick and Amanda. The two rivals glared at each other from across the room. [Insert dramatic music and a line suggesting a sequel here]